Having now reached the ripe old age of 24 I feel likes it’s fair to at least joke about being “past my prime” and just an old man. I’ve made these jokes about myself for a while now but now I feel arbitrarily more justified about it now. Plus it’s my birthday so I get to do whatever I want right?
Bad jokes about someone in their twenties getting old, what I thought I would do today is just list some of the random realizations about myself that I’ve made as I’ve gotten older. Most of these statements are exaggerated for the sake of a joke, but there are some bits of truths in there as well.
First off, either movies are getting way better or I’m becoming the emotional mess that is my dad watching movies.
On that note, I’m entirely sure that if my dad could get over the fact that My Lie in April is an anime it would emotionally destroy him on levels not yet understood my humans.
I know that listening to classical piano pieces and K-rap in the same playlist isn’t typical.
I don’t rage when playing games anymore. Probably because I’ve suscribed to a Hulk-like philosophy about games.
I’ve been single for so long that I’ve moved beyond the crippling lonliness into a state of romantic apathy. It is the most boring form of euphoria known to man.
This isn’t actually about me, but Miles Teller is the next great American movie star. #Callingitnow
When I need to wake up early for something I either sleep right through my alarm by hours or wake up 30 minutes before my alarm. So why do I even set it?
I rapidly shift from thinking I’m the smartest person in a room to the biggest idiot ever based solely on comments made in classes.
I’m so bad with names now that I can’t even remember whose who on TV shows. It gets really confusing after awhile so I just keep imdb open while I watch.
At least 5 times a week I hear something so stupid or naive that I want to smash my head through the nearest piece of glass.
3 of those times it’s coming out of my mouth.
Red Bull is not a drink. It’s a terrifying chemical concoction that we were all told was a drink and we just believed them.
Cranberry Red Bull is the tastiest thing I’ve ever drank in my life.
Going to the movies is a sham unless you get popcorn. #Fancyliving
Casually Explained is my spirit animal.
I don’t care for holidays that much. Ideally you would want to have a life where everyday is pretty good and you’d just want more of that no?
Telling stories is my actual favourite thing in the world.
I’ll tak the girl I can have an intresting conversation with over the hot girl 172 out of 10 times.
I know the prequels aren’t actually that bad, but I still hate them a lot.
That being said, why not both?
I hate mornings and so I design my life around sleeping through them.
I don’t hate underdogs, but I never want them to win. I always prefer the better team to perform to their level and smack the underdog down.
That’s enough for this year. I’ve got a steak to cook myself. Peace out!