Viking Funeral for Courtney Moser

It’s been a while but you all know the drill, when friends of mine get married I write them a eulogy for their single life. I mean I congratulate them on their accomplishment and wish them luck. Same thing imo.

This one feels a little more odd though, since I haven’t seen Courtney in almost a year now. Also part of me wants to take a Viking Funeral theme to this post, ie I flame Courtney as she’s sent out to sea never to be seen again. I thought it might be appropriate since a lot of mine and Courtney’s friendship has been based on poking fun at one another. Feels right to continue that tradition no? Then I thought about all of the negative consequences of making fun of a bride on her wedding day. Not wanting to have a couple of tall angry Russian gentlemen show up at my apartment with a baseball bat and brass knuckles I decided to continue singing the praises of my friends.

Courtney, you are a small person. This is a really good thing I believe, it hides that fact that you are terrifyingly intimidating, which is good for two reasons. First you are an elementary school teacher (that is still correct I think.) and terrifying young children is not a part of your job description. (Unless Alberta education has really taken a dive.) Secondly it gives you a wonderful surprise factor when dealing with morons that decide to cross you.

You are also a very smart person, not just academically either. (I assume you do well in school, haven’t got a good look at your transcripts though, just a shot in the dark.) You are a very capable of analyzing a situation you have been placed in (or someone else) figuring out what’s going on and finding smart solutions. I don’t mean to be rude to many of the lovely Americans I’ve met at BYU, but it’s a rarer trait than you might think. You’ve also applied these smarts to your humor which makes a pretty darn funny gal. However, you shouldn’t fall into the trap of overusing memes like how I smell ( I don’t btw.) and whether or not I own a copy of Space Jam or not. ( I own several copies now thanks to those jokes) You’re smart enough to keep coming up with fresh material, please do.


Courtney, you are real comfortable with who you are, and I respect that an awful lot. You never cared when I criticized your taste in movies over and over, and you never seemed to be bothered when pretty much everyone thought you needed to get out more. You were happy doing exactly what you were doing and didn’t see a reason to stop doing those things. This is for most people I believe this is one of the hardest lessons in life and you had it down pretty much the day after you left home. Kudos.

Anywho, real sorry I couldn’t actually be there for your wedding day, I’m sure you look beautiful and it’s the happiest day of your life. As it should be. Good luck in the shadow realm… I mean Marriage!

Author: JonnyTalkz

I pretend like I’ve got things figured out when really I’m making it up as I go. Honest to goodness truth.

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