Bad Burgers

Aight so yesterday was the last day of classes for the semester, I’ve been doing pretty good about eating better and I decided to reward myself with a good ole fashioned burger. So I hop in the car, buckle up (I ain’t trying to die out here ya know?) and head out. I had planned to go to this place called Mooyahs to get their chili burger since I freaking love it, but alas I saw the golden arches and my brain just went, “Ya know a Big Mac sounds really good right about now.”

So I end up at a McDonald’s drive-thru grabbing a Big Mac, fries and Dr. Pepper. Not a diet Dr. Pepper because I was rewarding myself and that means I get to have sugar if I want it ok? I get my stuff and head back to my apartment. I eat the fries first, mostly on the drive back home. They’re amazing. That’s not a surprise though, it’s McDonald’s everyone loves those fries, probably because they’re loaded up with everything bad for you but who cares? No one in the history of the planet had gotten healthier by doing to McDonald’s. After finishing up my fries on the walk from my car back to my apartment I go inside and sit down to enjoy this classic burger.


Look at this bad boy, it looks great, don’t it?


Check out the atrocity it became after just a couple of bites.


Look at this mess! AUGHGHGHGHGHUGHUGHUGH The whole thing just got worse and worse after each bite until like 5 bites in the whole thing fell apart. There was like 100 million times more mac sauce than needed.

Now I know that fast food workers don’t exactly have it “good”. Their lives, at least within the context of their work suck. I sympathize, but this kind of shenanigans just doesn’t fly.  I might be overstepping here, but I think that when I give you money for a burger I should have a reasonable expectation for it to hold together for the duration of the meal no? Seems pretty reasonable to me. So I just wanted to let McDonald’s know I won’t be going anywhere near one of your establishments for the foreseeable future. Get your crap together and stop ruining my precious fast food experience. Later.

Author: JonnyTalkz

I pretend like I’ve got things figured out when really I’m making it up as I go. Honest to goodness truth.

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