The Worst Movie That I Love to Death.

Over the weekend I applied a Windows update to my computer that basically broke everything and eventually led to me being forced to do a factory reset on my computer. This was enormously frustrating (why do you force these updates on my Microsoft?) but that’s not what I want to talk about today.

That was just to set a context for why over the weekend I went back and re watched Romeo and Juliet. (the 1996 one with Leonardo DiCaprio, cross dressing and everyone screaming their lines.) I needed something to do whilst I reset all the stuff on my computer and re downloaded all my programs and such.

Oh my goodness I love this movie. Not because it’s good mind you, in many many ways it’s a total train wreck, cause it’s horrendous but you cannot stop watching it. I think my favorite part of this movie is that there is such a clear vision for what Baz Luhrmann (the director) wanted the movie to be and it just executes on that vision 110 percent. It’s big, bombastic, over the top, provacative and just so unique I can’t help but love this thing. Like how weird and creative is his interpretation of “Star crossed lovers”? Baz’s version of that is two horny teenagers who dropped ecstasy one night and just ran with it even after they sobered up. It’s tragically hilarious and in a weird way totally nails what the story of Romeo and Juliet really is.

Now this next little bit may make you question everything about my taste in movies but just hear me out. I honestly think the way the story plays out in this version makes sense. Like at its core I believe that these things could happen. I believe that a modern day Tybalt would be this gun-slinging greaser who wears a vest with no shirt with the Virgin Mary on it. I believe that Mercutio could be Romeo’s cool friend that refers his X dealer to Queen Mab. Horatio could be kind of bumbling voice of reason that unironically wears unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts around.  I believe that the feast could be this insane rager where everyone is totally out of their minds on some sort of substance. I believe that Paris could be Paul Rudd…..

Wait a minute. No No No…. That can’t actually be. IT REALLY IS PAUL RUDD. What is he doing in this movie and why does he still looks the same then as he does now?

Paul Rudd doesn't age.png

Look at this! All he’s done is grow a beard and throw his hair up! Good gravy this man has aged well. It still doesn’t explain what he’s doing in this movie in 1996 but hey man, you do you Paul.

I really don’t have a point for this post, I just happened upon this absurd little nugget of stylized magnificence and had to talk about why I love it so much. Later.

One Comment

  1. Suck it jon

    RIP Mercutio.

    Like

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