So there’s this song that I’ve been listening to a bunch for a little while now. It’s called The Nature of Love and it’s by Sinitus Tempo, (click the link to listen to it, I recommend you do while you read it because I’m super pretentious and think it might affect how you perceive what I’m saying) I have absolutely no idea how to define his music in terms of genre, but that probably has more to do with my lack of knowledge when it comes to music than him having a mind-bending sound that defies common conventions of what we would call a genre. So I’ll call it easy listening/chill instrumental? Yeah close enough, the point of this post isn’t really even to talk about the song itself. I definitely enjoy it and think it’s good music, but the fact that it’s just a good song to just chill out and think about stuff to and the title The Nature of Love is what’s got me really kind of spinning.
Like what do I even see as the nature of love? That’s kind of an enormous question, isn’t it? But questions like this that feel almost unanswerable are the ones that intrigue me the most because it allows for you to sort of just endlessly explore ideas without ever feeling the need to have a quantifiable answer. Which is pretty ironic to say now because I’m about to try to give a quantifiable answer to this question, but that’s neither here or there. I also feel like I should make a note that I’m firmly incapable of being an authority on this question. Don’t get me wrong I love my family and friends dearly and I’d do anything for them, but I’m not a parent and I’ve never been married, much less in love, and from what people have told me that sort of love is just on a whole other level. I can’t even begin to try and describe the love you feel for someone as you look into their eyes on your wedding day or the loved one feels when they hold their child for the first time and their entire universe melts away and is immediately reconstructed but with this tiny person at the center or it. I’ve never felt that before so I’m operating on limited information. That being said, not having enough information hasn’t ever stopped me before so I’m just gonna kind of go for it anyway.
Love. Woo boy, this is a tough one. To me, love has always been about putting others before myself. I think that’s a pretty standard definition though like most people would say that putting someone else before yourself is a critical component of love, so I need some other things to really make sure this is MY opinion/take/perspective on what the nature of love is. I guess for me specifically love is like something that gets me out of the house.
Let me explain that a bit. I’m a deeply introverted person and also very independent if you give me the option to either hang out with some people or just chill at home and watch a movie I’ll pick stay at home like 90% of the time. It’s nothing against anyone else, I just like my me time… a lot, but when friends invite me out, and I mean like good friends not like the “we talked once at a thing and added each other on Facebook” kind of friends, when good friends invite me out, I pretty much drop whatever I was doing to go spend time with them, because I love them and I love being around them. I feel elevated as a person each time I hang out with them and conversations with good friends always make me feel enlightened as an individual.
Now I know that sounded like really overly sentimental and sappy, but that’s one of the problems I think we have right now, we only think of love as that thing the guy says to the girl in a Rom-com when he finally realizes she’s the one for him. All too often we see love as being only this thing that’s expressed in romantic relationships when that’s absolutely not the case. Take for example in my life, I have a number of old friends from my hometown of Magrath, the pizza Tuesday crew. (Y’all know who you are) I love those guys, but we all have like our own lives and I don’t talk to them all that much anymore. It’s not that I don’t care about them anymore, we’re just all adults and have like lives to lead. (Side note if any of you fella’s are reading this next time we’re in the same city let’s get some pizza eh?) Also, I feel like I might be excluding some absolutely top-notch people who didn’t happen to be part of the pizza Tuesday crew so just know that if we hung out a bunch in high school, I love you, appreciate you and hope your life is going really well.
Tangent there aside, do you see what I’m trying to get at? Love isn’t just about sacrificing your own wants/needs for others, it’s just like this feeling.
Gah, I’m a writer I should be able to come up with something better than “it’s like this feeling”. Love is about caring for people in a way that even if you don’t see them for years when you do see them it’s almost like no time has passed at all, you just start chatting and catching up like you see them every day. Love also isn’t always romantic either, take it from me, I don’t think I’ve ever been “in love”, but I love a lot of people. Love is about… ehhh… uhh…. hmm…
Oh, wait I think I found it, love isn’t about putting others ahead of yourself, love is about caring about a person so much you don’t even take your needs into consideration.
Nah wait, that’s not good. If people did that you’d have all of these really lopsided relationships with folks just destroying their whole lives to make someone else’s better. If the other person returns that love though would it kind of balance things out? Like if we’re all putting the needs of those we love ahead of our own and those we love do the same everyone still gets taken care of? Ehh… That sounds like really naive honestly. Like it makes a nice quote I suppose, but in reality, it’s just not really smart. Guess I don’t have it yet.
I don’t know, love is just one of those things where ya know when ya know right? We all know the people in our life that we love and maybe it couldn’t hurt to let those people know a little more often how we feel. Although just a quick pro-tip if anyone is thinking of telling their crush that they love them without any warning because of what I’m saying I’m not really recommending that, don’t go 0 to 100 ya know? That friend of yours that’s been listening to you pine after that person for ages without complaint though? Let that person know you love them. Lord knows they must love you if they put up with that kind of crap.
I think I’ve rambled enough about this, for now, If I make any breakthroughs on the topic I be sure to do this again though. Later.