“A prince knows he has many options.”
This is a quote from a dating seminar I attended last night. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Why are you going to dating seminars, Jonny? I thought you had a girlfriend? Did you already screw that up?” No I did not and yes I still have a girlfriend. She actually encouraged me to attend this thing. Not entirely sure what to make of that though… regardless that’s not the point, I’m here now to talk about that quote because I think there’s a fair bit to unpack there and it’s just the first of many crazy things I heard last night. We’re going to be talking about this thing for a while folks. Buckle up.
Let’s being with what the speakers intended meaning. Basically, they were rephrasing the age-old saying of “There is plenty of fish in the sea” meaning that you shouldn’t get discouraged by rejection in dating because there are lots of people out there who could potentially be “the one”. (I say that even though I absolutely don’t believe in there being “the one” but that’s another thought for another time.) You rephrase it so that people think the thought you’re having is a new and original one instead of something people have been saying forever. It gives you the authority in a sense. You have a unique view on a topic so people should listen to you. In that sense, it’s whatever. It sounds fancy and nice I guess.
However, I think there’s more to it though.
First off let’s quickly move through the use of a royal title to describe ourselves. You’re not royalty, neither am I. We’re ordinary people and believing that you are a “prince” is just cocky. Don’t get me wrong we should all believe in ourselves but not believe we’re better than others. How about “A good man knows he has options?” Is that too much to ask?
That being said what I really want to dig in on is the use of the word “prince”. Why use that word in particular? Wouldn’t it make more sense to use the word king instead? Why leave yourself with a lesser title?
Because the speakers do not believe that they or anyone in their seminar are kings. Kings are married. Princes are single. In order to ascend to the throne of fulfillment, you must have a queen. This is in my mind, is very dangerous thinking. Sidenote I’m not trying to rag super hard on these guys either, because while they are the ones that put it into a phrase I think this kind of thinking is very pervasive throughout YSA culture, especially here in Utah. Far too many people here define their success in life by whether or not they’re a relationship. This leads them to believe that if they are single they are doing something wrong.
This is wrong.
Marriage does not make you a better person. In fact, crazy hot take here, but being married doesn’t really change who you are at all it just changes how you file your taxes. If you are of the mindset of dating just to get married so you can feel like a complete person then pal I’ve got some important info for you. Marriage isn’t going to make you feel better about who you are, not in the long run and if you get married because you think that being single is a lesser existence than I feel a tremendous sense of sorrow for your spouse.
Being single is a perfectly good thing to be, and so is being in a relationship. Moving from one to another doesn’t say anything about your character. Maybe if you become single because you cheated that says something, but that’s more about you being a cheater than you being single again. Being single and being in a relationship are just states of existence. Don’t worry about them, worry about trying to be your best self, find fulfillment in your own life instead of someone else’s. If you believe that you are not successful in life without a relationship you do not love yourself, and if you do not love yourself you cannot be a caring partner in a relationship, at least not to the level the other person deserves.
If you think you’re a prince, don’t go looking for a princess. Ask yourself why you aren’t the king of your life? Just don’t be egotistical about it. Remember, most of us are just ordinary people and thinking were the royalty of humanity is plain ole arrogant. Just be a good person and don’t worry so much about your relationship status. Later.