Endings

Let’s just get to it. Lindsay and I broke up. She broke up with me, I know that’s something people want to know. I told her I was going to write this blog post as well. Writing is my main way of processing these feelings and I just need to start going through those feelings.

What does that mean for me? Honest to goodness I don’t know. All I know right now is that there is a weight attached to my whole body that just won’t let up. I know that I’m angry. There’s always anger that comes with things like this. Never at her though, I couldn’t be angry at her. She explained why she wanted to break up well and had very good reasons. I won’t go into it because that’s entirely personal and between the two of us. Not something you put on a blog post.

It’ll take some time but I do believe we’ll remain friends. Some of you will say that this is a terrible idea, and you may well be right. It may lead to a lot more pain for both of us, but our friendship is valuable enough to warrant an attempt. We’re not going to try and pretend like we can just swap over to being friends again. They’ll be a lengthy period of time where we don’t talk to each other so that we both and process and move on.

It’s going to a lonely period of time, I won’t lie. I have wonderful friends in my life and I’ll be sure to spend quality time with them, but anyone who has been in a serious break-up knows that there holes left that no other person can fill. There are wounds that can only be healed by time.

I won’t lie, I didn’t see this coming. I’m devastated and I’m heart-broken. I’ll be alright though, eventually. I don’t think there’s much more I can say right now. It’s all so fresh. Later.

I pretend like I’ve got things figured out when really I’m making it up as I go. Honest to goodness truth.

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