Provos Most Eligable?

Well, life got busy for me for a little while there and that pushed back my write-up for the second episode of the surprise online hit “The Bachelor of Provo” so far that the show isn’t even called The Bachelor of Provo anymore.

For those unaware (I can’t fathom how you wouldn’t know about the renaming but still want to read this blog post) shortly after the second episode of The Bachelor of Provo a few news outlets had started picking up on the buzz around the show and once they started publishing interviews with the creators and articles about the show surprise, surprise the big bad guys of Warner Bros came down with copyright allegations and they came down hard. So hard that they forced the show to rename itself and drop the rose ceremony from the show entirely, alongside some other less monumental changes.

I won’t lie, part of me wants to get into the nitty-gritty of exactly why the show got copyright striked and how totally in the right Warner Bros was to do it (legally at least) but that’s probably a whole other write-up on its own. So let’s just stay focused on my thoughts and feelings of episode two of Provo’s Most Eligible?

Right at the start, we have another skit about Provo dating and just… no. We’re all painfully aware of what this show is about and if we’re sitting down to watch episode two we don’t need to be reminded or sold on it again. We want to watch cringy Provo people be hilariously awkward around each other so we can all feel better about the awkward, cringy stuff we do in our day to day lives. No skits required.

Moving past that though we get the intro sequence and then cut directly to… Colin walking onto a stage and doing some of the most amazing, and definitely awkward white guy dancing ever caught on camera. I’m a really bad dancer, but that was just rough to watch.

After (AFTER) Colin’s routine? It’s explained to us that the group date portion of the show will be a talent show! Oh cool right? Wrong. Rather then having a diverse set of acts to showcase the uniqueness of each contestant we get just an enormous hot mess. Props to Annalee though for at least trying to be unique with tap-rapping. Would’ve been like way cooler if you did both at the same time, but separate is fine too I suppose.

I know I said I wouldn’t mention copyright stuff, but can we not all acknowledge the hilarity of this show consistently using that garbage copyright free music only to get struck down with copyright strikes anyway? Just hilarious.

Anyways, after the talent show we’re treated to our first solo date with Colin and Megan! Megan is the one… ahhh…. hold on. *Googles furiously* Megan the surgical technology major! I’m sure she has other definining personality traits but good lord can we not tell from the show, at least we get this scene with the blanket depicted below and it’s gotta be the most provo thing I’ve ever seen on a screen. Just spectacular for all the wrong reasons.

Cred @Provosmosteligable

From there were back to them all hanging out and trying to chat with Colin and we finally get some juicy drama. It starts with Abby taking Colin aside and basically asking him why he’s even bothering with these other girls because their connection is so strong.

Big plays for big ballers ya know?

The drama continues to flow as it’s revealed (By Abby I think, pot stirrer much?) that Lucy, in between filming episode one and two got a boyfriend. Seriously people, if you’ve never been to Provo this is actually the kind of stuff that happens on a regular basis. Colin and Lucy handle it like mature adults though and Lucy departs the show that night. Whatever shall we do without another blonde, average height, person from… was it Hawaii? Yeah, Hawaii. That’s the one. Jeez Colin has a type and it’s showing.

There’s a couple more things that happen like Kate showing Colin more magic, and even though it’s totally obvious that the show is super fake bordering on scripted the two of them have a fun energy together. Like two dweebs just dorking out together.

Oh yeah, there’s also this tiny little thing of Annali trying to snag a SMOOCH from Colin. Dang, I’m upset that I’ve already used the bold strategy meme in this write-up because that was a extra big play for a truly enormous baller. Props to going for it Annali, and extra props for asking for consent first, it’s 2019 people, consent isn’t hard. Simple verbal confirmations are easy enough right? I mean he shot her down so that’s unfortunate for Annali, but I’ve still gotta give her points for trying right?

After the smooch rejection tragedy (or a blessing depending on your POV) we get to the rose ceremony (last one apparently!) and honest to goodness who even cares at this point. Both Annalee and Annali move onto the next round which means there is still hope in my heart that they’ll have a duel to the death to absorb each other’s powers highlander style. The adorkable Kate got a rose and so did everyone’s favourite girl with an accent Elena, everyone else doesn’t matter anymore as far as I’m concerned.

New episode of Provo’s Most Eligable comes out this weekend and now that I’ve got a somewhat normal schedule I should be able to get the write-up on it out in a more timely manner. So like a week, week and a half from now I guess? Till then, Later!

Important Q’s About The Bachelor of Provo

So the universe hates me and I wasn’t given a new episode of The Bachelor of Provo to dissect, but I’m determined to keep doing write-ups on this show every Monday. So in lieu of having a new episode to talk about, I’m just gonna ask some questions that I think could have a pretty big impact on the outcome of the show. I’m aware that I’m probably taking a reality show based in Provo too seriously, but what else am I going to do with my time? Something healthy and productive? LAME

Just to prove how way too seriously I’m taking this show here’s a fun fact. The average age of the remaining contestants is 19.3. Am I out of control? Whose to say? (I am)

When we’re introduced to Collin he states that he’s never been in a real relationship, first and second dates only. Combine that with the fact that he’s young and fresh off of his mission this leads me to ask, “Has Collin had his first kiss yet?” It’s entirely possible that he hasn’t right? If he hasn’t that can totally change the game, it would give a huge advantage to whatever girl can grab a smooch from him first. It would also pose a real risk because if a girl tried to force that moment (ya know that’s gonna happen) it would probably spell the end of their run on the show. A huge opportunity just sitting there if someone can navigate it properly.

I’ve also come to believe that another enormous opportunity is waiting for these girls. Collin is a recently returned missionary who hasn’t adjusted back to ordinary life yet, whoever can genuinely make a spiritual connection with him is going to have an HUGE leg up. Despite the use of all caps, the real keyword of that sentence is genuinely. Can they do it though? Can they connect with Collin over the gospel? Much like the kissing thing if someone tries to force a spiritual moment to happen it’s going to blow up in their face worse than that time Dwight used an insecticide grenade. I obviously can’t be certain of this, but I’m guessing that none of the girls on this show are return missionaries themselves. Pretty much because if any of them were then they would’ve brought it up when Collin talked about his mission. (which they all pretty much asked about) Shame, that could’ve been a huge boon for someone. Perhaps it’ll be like this show’s version of a twist, “Gotcha, turns out I served a mission and it was also in Argentina Collin!” *Audience collectively gasps*

Another big advantage these girls could give themselves is to stop chewing freaking gum while on camera. Who thought that was a good idea? Whoever it was fire their sorry butt it’s awful. Hopefully, they fix that in episode 2, but we’ll only know on the 25th when it airs. Until then I’ll just stare at my wall or something. Later!

Photo credit to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, check it out!

The Bachelor… of Provo

There’s a new show in town that I just have to talk about. The Bachelor of Provo. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is, take the classic (not sure about the use of the word classic there) format of the hit reality show The Bachelor, transplant it into the Provo dating scene and wait for the magic to unfold. I’m officially obsessed.

Some of you might be thinking that I’m going to be railing against the show, making fun of it and using it to showcase what I think is wrong with dating in Provo.


I’m getting on board with this thing. I’m embracing it. I will be beginning a weekly series recapping and giving my thoughts on each episode as they come out starting today with the premiere episode. Not much of what I say from here on out will make sense if you haven’t watched it, so check the link here for all the glory! (Be aware it’s a 40-minute episode so make sure you have the time to watch the whole thing.)

Before I really get into it I do have to level one major criticism at the show. The lighting is just awful. If you’re thinking of starting a show and using the regular incandescent bulbs in your house/apartment do everyone a favor and throw your camera in the garbage. Or buy a proper lighting setup, you can get decent ones at amazon for like 50-60 bucks, and trust me they make a huge differance.

Ok, with that out of the way we can get into the meat of this thing. The show starts with what I can only call a skit showcasing the woes of being a dude trying to date in Provo. Sure some people will label it cringy, but honestly, if you need something to set up the premise of your show this works just as well as anything else would.

At the end of the skit we’re introduced to our beloved host, Remington, and we get a real good look at just how bad the lighting situation is. Sorry, but its just bad. Remington gives us and the Bachelor, Colin, a pep talk and we roll the intro sequence. Not gonna lie, I think the intro is really good, the lighting is much improved, the camera movement is nice, but I have a feeling it is because it’s mimicking the original show. (Can’t say for sure I’ve never watched the real thing.)

So let’s talk about our Bachelor. I think one of the really smart things about this show is actually the choice of Colin as the Bachelor. He strikes me very much as an everyman kind of person. He embodies the idea of the average guy in Provo, and I mean that in a nice way. The fact that when he’s talking about what he looks for in a girl he says, “…someone I can have a good discussion with…” really lets you in on how fresh off of a mission he is though. It’s a classic missionary word. Otherwise, he seems like a decent, nice, normal guy. You know except for the fact he’s on this show, that’s definitely not normal.

Now it’s time for the girls since we started with like 22 girls I’m gonna have to go really fast through them. Also, to these women who happen upon this, please note you signed up to be on a show where 22 of you try all simultaneously date one guy from Utah. It’s watered down polygamy and I’m gonna make jokes about it. Buckle up. It’s nothing personal. Except it is, sorry.

McKenna: Basic Provo girl.

Aubrey: Whenever I hear someone say, “I’m super sarcastic” I’m just a little doubtful of them. Maybe that’s just me being elitist about how sarcastic I am, but those who know me know I earn that title of sarcastic every bloody day.

Julianne: Bringing snacks is a bold move, and I respect that.

Lucy: Basic Provo girl. (Even if she’s from Hawaii)

Maddy: Oh yikes, going down the whole, “I knew him growing up” is just a bad idea. Lucky for her he does remember her, but still a bad call if you ask me.

Annalee: She leads off by saying she’s looking for a family man, and I just feel like if you’re trying to date a 20-year-old that’s a good way to terrify him.

Megan: She says she’s not your typical Provo girl, which means she’s your typical Provo girl.

Bailey: This is just mean of me, but she bobs her head everywhere while she talks, just stop please.

Kate: This girl says nothing about herself, so I’m going to assume she’s in the Illuminati.

Abby: Basic Provo girl.

Molly: She’s got a real quiet demeanor about her, which makes me wonder why she signed up for the show.

Hannah: Basic Provo girl.

Keli: Hey she’s got a real in with the whole sharing a class together thing. Curious to see how far she can push that.

Rachel: I really like her glasses, but her wants from a relationship seem contrary to the idea of being on this show.

Sarah: Basic Provo girl. Her force of attraction joke is also corny as it gets.

Maddy G: Yikes. Any girl that refers to herself (even in a joking manner) as a dime is probably too into her own looks for it to be healthy.

Annali: Bringing her own roses? Not so sure about that one… Also another self-made joke about how good looking they are, doesn’t bode well.

Eva: What is that dancing? That’s some ish my girlfriend does. Which obviously means Eva’s cool… (You’re beautiful Lindsay!) Although the dancing goes on like 10 seconds too long.

Shannon: Basic Provo girl. Also her math jokes falls so flat it hurt my soul. Practice your routine girl.

Sabrina: She likes to write which means I’m biased towards her, but otherwise she seems like a basic Provo girl.

Elena: Accent is like a get out of jail free card for the first round of this thing isn’t it?

Kaitlyn: Guitar? Get out of here. Like really. Are you gonna play Wonderwall next?

So there are the girls, I could talk a bit about the 30 second dates they all go on but this thing is long enough and they all ask the same questions which was super boring so onto the rose ceremony!

Hannah, did I say you were basic? My apologies, that shade you were throwing after getting eliminated was straight fire! This is the kind of thing I desperately wanted in this show. Real talk though, dropping that level of salt and then saying, “not mad” is equivalent of two dudes making out with each other and then saying, “no homo”. Also only doing two exit interviews is kind of lame, I wanted drama!

I guess I should make some predictions at this point. Elena will be the one most hated by the other girls because they got nothing but envy for that accent. Annali will be the villain, she’s just got that vibe around her and she got that mad beef with Elena over the impression rose. I knew I came down hard on Maddy and the whole “I knew him growing up thing.” but I can’t lie that it gives her such a huge edge early on and I think she’ll ride that lead out to a win on The Bachelor of Provo.

I think that’s all I can say about this show, for now, I’m excited to keep watching it and hopefully, you all are excited to read what I have to say about it each week. I promise next week will be more brief, with intros and everything there’s just so much to go through. Later!

The photo used is not mine, it belongs to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, give them a follow or something.