The Bachelor… of Provo

There’s a new show in town that I just have to talk about. The Bachelor of Provo. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is, take the classic (not sure about the use of the word classic there) format of the hit reality show The Bachelor, transplant it into the Provo dating scene and wait for the magic to unfold. I’m officially obsessed.

Some of you might be thinking that I’m going to be railing against the show, making fun of it and using it to showcase what I think is wrong with dating in Provo.

Wrong.

I’m getting on board with this thing. I’m embracing it. I will be beginning a weekly series recapping and giving my thoughts on each episode as they come out starting today with the premiere episode. Not much of what I say from here on out will make sense if you haven’t watched it, so check the link here for all the glory! (Be aware it’s a 40-minute episode so make sure you have the time to watch the whole thing.)

Before I really get into it I do have to level one major criticism at the show. The lighting is just awful. If you’re thinking of starting a show and using the regular incandescent bulbs in your house/apartment do everyone a favor and throw your camera in the garbage. Or buy a proper lighting setup, you can get decent ones at amazon for like 50-60 bucks, and trust me they make a huge differance.

Ok, with that out of the way we can get into the meat of this thing. The show starts with what I can only call a skit showcasing the woes of being a dude trying to date in Provo. Sure some people will label it cringy, but honestly, if you need something to set up the premise of your show this works just as well as anything else would.

At the end of the skit we’re introduced to our beloved host, Remington, and we get a real good look at just how bad the lighting situation is. Sorry, but its just bad. Remington gives us and the Bachelor, Colin, a pep talk and we roll the intro sequence. Not gonna lie, I think the intro is really good, the lighting is much improved, the camera movement is nice, but I have a feeling it is because it’s mimicking the original show. (Can’t say for sure I’ve never watched the real thing.)

So let’s talk about our Bachelor. I think one of the really smart things about this show is actually the choice of Colin as the Bachelor. He strikes me very much as an everyman kind of person. He embodies the idea of the average guy in Provo, and I mean that in a nice way. The fact that when he’s talking about what he looks for in a girl he says, “…someone I can have a good discussion with…” really lets you in on how fresh off of a mission he is though. It’s a classic missionary word. Otherwise, he seems like a decent, nice, normal guy. You know except for the fact he’s on this show, that’s definitely not normal.

Now it’s time for the girls since we started with like 22 girls I’m gonna have to go really fast through them. Also, to these women who happen upon this, please note you signed up to be on a show where 22 of you try all simultaneously date one guy from Utah. It’s watered down polygamy and I’m gonna make jokes about it. Buckle up. It’s nothing personal. Except it is, sorry.

McKenna: Basic Provo girl.

Aubrey: Whenever I hear someone say, “I’m super sarcastic” I’m just a little doubtful of them. Maybe that’s just me being elitist about how sarcastic I am, but those who know me know I earn that title of sarcastic every bloody day.

Julianne: Bringing snacks is a bold move, and I respect that.

Lucy: Basic Provo girl. (Even if she’s from Hawaii)

Maddy: Oh yikes, going down the whole, “I knew him growing up” is just a bad idea. Lucky for her he does remember her, but still a bad call if you ask me.

Annalee: She leads off by saying she’s looking for a family man, and I just feel like if you’re trying to date a 20-year-old that’s a good way to terrify him.

Megan: She says she’s not your typical Provo girl, which means she’s your typical Provo girl.

Bailey: This is just mean of me, but she bobs her head everywhere while she talks, just stop please.

Kate: This girl says nothing about herself, so I’m going to assume she’s in the Illuminati.

Abby: Basic Provo girl.

Molly: She’s got a real quiet demeanor about her, which makes me wonder why she signed up for the show.

Hannah: Basic Provo girl.

Keli: Hey she’s got a real in with the whole sharing a class together thing. Curious to see how far she can push that.

Rachel: I really like her glasses, but her wants from a relationship seem contrary to the idea of being on this show.

Sarah: Basic Provo girl. Her force of attraction joke is also corny as it gets.

Maddy G: Yikes. Any girl that refers to herself (even in a joking manner) as a dime is probably too into her own looks for it to be healthy.

Annali: Bringing her own roses? Not so sure about that one… Also another self-made joke about how good looking they are, doesn’t bode well.

Eva: What is that dancing? That’s some ish my girlfriend does. Which obviously means Eva’s cool… (You’re beautiful Lindsay!) Although the dancing goes on like 10 seconds too long.

Shannon: Basic Provo girl. Also her math jokes falls so flat it hurt my soul. Practice your routine girl.

Sabrina: She likes to write which means I’m biased towards her, but otherwise she seems like a basic Provo girl.

Elena: Accent is like a get out of jail free card for the first round of this thing isn’t it?

Kaitlyn: Guitar? Get out of here. Like really. Are you gonna play Wonderwall next?

So there are the girls, I could talk a bit about the 30 second dates they all go on but this thing is long enough and they all ask the same questions which was super boring so onto the rose ceremony!

Hannah, did I say you were basic? My apologies, that shade you were throwing after getting eliminated was straight fire! This is the kind of thing I desperately wanted in this show. Real talk though, dropping that level of salt and then saying, “not mad” is equivalent of two dudes making out with each other and then saying, “no homo”. Also only doing two exit interviews is kind of lame, I wanted drama!

I guess I should make some predictions at this point. Elena will be the one most hated by the other girls because they got nothing but envy for that accent. Annali will be the villain, she’s just got that vibe around her and she got that mad beef with Elena over the impression rose. I knew I came down hard on Maddy and the whole “I knew him growing up thing.” but I can’t lie that it gives her such a huge edge early on and I think she’ll ride that lead out to a win on The Bachelor of Provo.

I think that’s all I can say about this show, for now, I’m excited to keep watching it and hopefully, you all are excited to read what I have to say about it each week. I promise next week will be more brief, with intros and everything there’s just so much to go through. Later!

The photo used is not mine, it belongs to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, give them a follow or something.



5 Favourite Films: 2018

Another year has come and gone and it’s time for me to put up my lists for favorite films from the past year!

YAY!

This year though I have to make a confession. I didn’t see as many movies as I normally do. Something about actually getting a social life managed to eat into a lot of my movie-going time. Unlucky I suppose, but friends are also nice as well.

Still, though, I did end up saw quite a few movies and need (yes need) to talk about them, even though most of them I already talked about. I’ll be going from 5-1 because I can’t give away the secret of my favourite right away, can I?

#5: First Reformed

This is definitely a movie a lot of people didn’t go see, it was a small production with a pretty limited release, but I’m so glad I had the opportunity to watch it. Ethan Hawke gives one of his best performances as the tortured priest of a small congregation in upstate New York. I’m not afraid to admit that I have a lot of personal bias towards liking this film. It deals with subject matter very close to me as Hawke’s character struggles to reconcile his faith with the tragedies of the world around him. There are sections of this film that are deeply uncomfortable, but I appreciate this movie for having the gall to go there.

#4: Love, Simon

Yeah, the campy teen rom-com about a gay kid is in my top five of the year. What are you gonna do about it? This movie is spectacular, it’s fun, heartfelt, and well-crafted. It manages to stay relatable to an older audience without making it’s characters feel out of place. They feel like high schoolers, I mean don’t get me wrong there are a few moments that are just spectacularly cringy, but I think that was intended, because high school as a whole is a pretty cringy experience. It’s got big goals for itself and it meets those goals almost effortlessly.

#3: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

Gah! This movie was just awesome. The animation is almost perfect, (there are a couple of times that it didn’t really vibe with me, but that’s mostly me nit-picking) the casting is beyond brilliant, the story is engaging, heartfelt, and really funny. Into the Spider-verse, along with Guardians of the Galaxy, is proof that with love, care and skilled filmmakers even the weirdest parts of superhero stories, like the existance of alternate dimensions and corresponding spider-mans can be made into a fantastic films.

#2: Upgrade

Alright, back to the kind of movies you’d expect me to rate really highly. Upgrade is a dark, gritty and violent revenge thriller that absolutely no one saw. It’s a surprisingly great performance by the lead, Logan Marshall-Green who blends the line between grief-stricken husband and curious avenger remarkably well. The plot stays just interesting enough that you don’t get bored without getting too convoluted to confuse you. It finds this nice happy place so that people focus on the incredible action and camera-work rather than getting caught up in the nitty-gritty details of the story.

#1: Green Book

I’ve pointed out a few times on this list how impressed I was with the performances given by these films. Green Book stands out to me in part because it presents not one, but two phenomenal performances. Can we all just agree that Viggo Mortenson is just the best and that Mahershala Ali just oozes brilliance on screen? This movie just works so well and it’s mostly because of the brilliant chemistry between these two actors. Not to also mention that it’s got a tight well-written story that keeps things going at a wonderful pace. If I were to make any complaints about this movie it would be that it ended.

Ok that’s my list. Hopefully you haven’t seen some of these movies you’ll go check them out. I really think they’re worth your time. Later!


2019

I’ve been pretty quiet on the blog this month and thats mostly got to do with the insane schedule that is December when you’re a student (actually that probably extends to anyone, it just feels extra rushed when you add finals to it) but also I’ve been using what spare moments I’ve had to think about and reflect on the year as many of us do.

I’ve been focusing most of my reflection on how I did as a blogger this year and I feel like I can confidently say I did ok this year. I doubled the number of posts on this blog this year, I wrote a bunch of blogs that really felt good about and wanted to write for a long time, but the year was not without its own stumblings.

I really feel like I’ve struggled to write about movies, more so this year than other years. I feel as though that when I did write about movies I got very scatterbrained and wasn’t able to convincingly convey why I thought a movie was good or bad or even why people should see it. I think a big part of my problem was that I kept splitting myself by trying to give a personal take while also sound objective and those two things just do not mesh at all. Going into 2019 I want to really focus more on my personal take on movies, how I connect with the stories, characters and moments. A little less focus on how nice the camera movement is and other stuff like that.

Keeping on the topic of movies I actually want to cut back on how many movies I see. For the past few years I’ve consistently managed to make a hundred odd trips to the movies, while this resulted in me seeing some wonderful movies I might not have seen, it’s also resulted in me seeing some huge turds of films. (I’m looking right at you Wrinkle in Time, gah you suck.) I really like to skip as many turds as possible in 2019 as it comes to films. In the past, it’s been fine because I’ve had a ton of spare time on my hands by not being social at all, but now that time is a less abundant resource (not complaining about that, I love having things to actually do outside of school) I really need to focus on movies I’m truly excited about.

Wow, I did not intend for this post to be so focused on movies, I really wanted to focus on what I will be writing about in 2019, and that’s me. Just me. Not in like a egotistical sense like, “All I want to talk about it me” but rather focusing more on the introspection, self-reflection, and personal opinion that I wrote during the summer and fall of this year. It was fun to write and honestly it was better than 90% of the other stuff I’ve written here. So get ready to take a closer look at Jonny Tollestrup in 2019, or just like don’t read this blog, it’s your call. Later.

Hands

Ok I’m gonna go ahead and be a little lazy today, just going to poke fun at myself quick.

Over the weekend I went up to Temple Square in Salt Lake City to see all the Christmas lights that get put up, I went with a bunch of my friends and my girlfriend. It was a lovely time. If you’re in the area you should really check it out, its a lot of fun. Just be aware that parking sucks this time of year so be patient with all of that stuff.

“Jonny you said you were gonna make fun of yourself.”

I’m getting to it, just chill. Whilst we were up looking at the lights our group came upon a store window with “mistletoe” written on it and after some peer pressure from friends Lindsay and I got a picture of us kissing underneath the writing. Isn’t that sweet? Sure, except for the fact that in the uncropped version of that picture you can see my arm dangling by my side  nice and awkward like, check it out. 

Oh yeah, look at that thing just… what am I doing?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ricky Bobby is now my spirit animal.

Why am I writing this post out, I could simply never post the uncropped version and get away with it couldn’t I? Yes, but my last couple of blogs (and surely some future ones) were poking a lot of fun at other peoples dating beliefs and practices and I wanted to remind folks that I’m not so arrogant to believe I am the one great authority in matters like this. I definitely do stuff that makes no sense when it comes to dating and I do a lot of silly things that deserve to be made fun of. So let’s all remember that when I write about dating stuff in the future that 1. I’m not saying everything coming out of my mouth is gospel and 2. We’re having fun here, not reading a TED talk. Ok? Great, later.

Charming Girls and Twisting Words

Ok so yesterday I worked through what I thought was some of the most dangerous thinking presented at this dating seminar I went to earlier in the week. Today I want to be less depressing and focus on some of the more silly things said. Let’s have some fun shall we? Also I think I mentioned this yesterday, but I don’t mean to rag on anyone in particular here, any issues I have are more with the general dating culture here than with any partiuclar individual, so relax. 

I’ll start today off with another quote,

“Women want a prince (or a high-quality man) to charm them until they simply can’t resist him any longer”

Yup, you nailed it, buddy. I mean what women doesn’t want someone who relentlessly pursues them until they simply submit themselves and go out with you. Sounds like true love to me. Maybe I’m not being fair to them right now and twisting their words, but come on! You really don’t have twist things very far to get to where I’m at! Like who uses word like “can’t resist” when they’re talking about dating and doesn’t expect people to give them this look.

If you’re dating life has enough opposition that the word “resist” is the first thing popping into your head than chances are your strategy needs a little refinement.

Now I can already hear my father typing up a comment for this, “Your mother ran away from me the first time I talked to her, I would call that resistance and it all worked out didn’t it?” Yeah, dad, it did, and I’m really grateful for that because otherwise I wouldn’t be here to make fun of you, but I think we can both agree that your situation is more of an exception to the rule than an example that proves it. Generally speaking, if a girl physically runs away from you that’s a sign to pack it in and take the L, make sure you hold on tight to it because you need to learn from this particular L. (Hats off to you dad for being oblivious enough to ignore that though so that I could exist! WHOOOO)

By the way I’m totally comfortable telling that story because I’ve heard my dad tell me it I don’t know… 7 billion times and somehow each time he tells it he owns it even harder than the last time. He’s actually totally unashamed about the whole thing. Honestly it’s one of the things I really like about him.

Back to the seminar though…

Let’s move onto specific terminology used. Hey, if I use the term “Social Proof” what springs into your head? Is it like a piece of paper you have that proves you know how to socialize with people in a non-serial killer way? Or maybe like a mathematical proof that demonstrates why nice guys finish last? Or perhaps its a reference to a term used in a sociological study looking into dating practices? Nope all wrong. Social proof is basically when you have cool friends so girls know you’re a cool person. I’m not a woman so I might be wrong about this, but I’m not currently aware of anyone who entered into a relationship with someone because they had cool friends. Sure I know people who set their friends up with people, but they don’t go on that date and have the girl say, “you’re friends with Billy so I know I should be attracted to you.” Like just… yeesh.

“Princes are able to elevate a princess to the station of a queen.”

Another lovely quote ain’t it? I’m sorry if I caught you off guard with the poetic beauty of it. It’s just such a well-crafted sentence it really des… I can’t keep playing this thing straight. Good lord this thing sounds like they took comments from r/niceguys and just plastered them on their PowerPoint (of course there was a PowerPoint! They’re professionals.) Like the sentiment is actually fine, if you’re a good person then you should be able to make your partners life better, but do we have to phrase it like that? Ladies just imagine for a moment a guy that you’ve been on a couple of dates with, they’ve gone ok but you’re not sure how you feel about him yet, then he drops this line, ” You are a princess, but I want to make you a queen.” If you got any sense it’s just like

There’s more to go through here, but I’m lazy and I’m kinda hoping to stretch this thing out until Christmas break so we’ll go over more of it another time. Later!

Keeping it Real


Over the past couple of months, I’ve written quite a bit about how much better I’ve been doing in my life, particularly in regards to feelings of depression and what not. On the whole, I’ve been noticeably happier, more energetic, and motivated to do things.

While that as a general trend is absolutely true, there are still days when I just can’t seem to find motivation or the will to be happy. Things just refuse to click. Rather than go out and do anything my body feels gleefully satisfied with lying in bed for all the hours the sun is up.

It’s a different feeling than laziness though and I bring that up because I know that can be a knee-jerk reaction to what I’m saying. The days where I feel depressed and the days I just feel lazy are very different. If I’m having a lazy day I definitely want to roll out of bed, mostly so I can get a burger, sit down at my desk and mindlessly grind at World of Warcraft all the live long day. I want to be doing things, just nothing useful.

When I’m feeling depressed I do not want to get out of bed at all, usually, if I do its because I have to use the bathroom so bad I think I might wet the bed. I don’t want to play games, I don’t want to watch movies, often times I’ll stare at a blank screen for several hours before getting back into bed to try and just get the day over with. I do not want to do anything. Does that paint a clear picture of how these two are different to me? I hope so.

I’m not trying to complain about the woes of my depression either, having only the occasional day be thwarted by my brain is in contrast to my own more serious bouts of depression fairly easy to deal with. I just have to hope it doesn’t land on any days where I’m making important decisions, but even then I’ve gotten a lot better at telling myself, “hey, mull that over for a week before acting on that impulse.” You know, how ordinary and well-adjusted people make big decisions?

The reality of it all is that considering everything, things are good, but because I’m determined to try and be more transparent about what I’m going through and how I’m feeling I feel its important to say that just because on average I’m doing really well, there are still dips and acknowledging those dips is important to me so that people know where I’m coming from. Honestly at this exact moment it feels really silly to be calling any of this depression because I know how serious that word can be and this is far from a serious problem, but I’ve allowed myself to spiral by not taking small things seriously before so I’m gonna opt to not make that mistake again and play it cautiously.

That’s really all I needed to say today, I think later this week I should be getting back to talking about movies a bit, and considering how many I’ve seen in the last bit it should be a good time, just so long as I can actually settle on a single movie to talk about… oh man that’s not going to be easy. Later!

Hold on… Wait…

I am not a smart man. Well sometimes I am, we all have our moments, right? For me, I find that all too often I find myself in scenarios where I have to realize that I might be one of the stupidest humans to ever walk this planet. We all know those moments where we catch ourselves mid-sentence saying something that makes absolutely no sense what so ever but its too late and we just have to ride it out? Those moments. The ones we think about late at night when we’re trying to sleep and our brain is just like, “Nah, let’s relive the most embarassing moments possible!” Here are a couple of those moments I’ve had recently.

Yesterday I decided to go to Target to go get some things, but I got distracted thinking about another errand I had to go run so I took a wrong turn thinking I was going to do that other errand. 20 seconds later I realize I wanted to be going to Target so I turn around and start heading back in the right direction. Then I think about how I’m hungry and maybe I should get some food while I’m out and I drive right by Target. Realizing my mistake I turn around again. Get distracted by another errand, miss Target, turn around, think about food, miss Target, turn around… You get the picture. I ended up driving past Target 5 or 6 times because of this. I honest to goodness might be top 5 dumbest people alive.

Another time at work I was listening to some music whilst changing some lights, humming along as I normally do when a co-worker of mine asks me, “hey are you listening to Gorillaz?” Like the band Gorillaz. I opted at that moment to reply with a blank stare for a solid minute, then shrugging my shoulders and going back to work.

“Are you listening to Gorillaz?” He asked again more confused.

“I don’t understand the question.” Is how I answered him this time.

“Like your music, is it Gorillaz?”

More silence as my rickety brain finally begins to put things together, “Oh sorry, no.”

At this point my co-worker bursts into laughter. I stood on a ladder with bright red cheeks wondering how on earth I survived this long with this freaking brain.

For the record, it wasn’t Gorillaz I was listening to, not that it makes me look any less idiotic.

I was going to share another profoundly stupid moment of mine to get three which seemed like a nice number for something like this, but at the moment I just can’t think of anything. Maybe I’m getting smarter? Nah probably more likely that my mind is going the way of my father and I’m simply forgetting everything that happens to me. Oh well, later!

 

 

 

Pika Pika

Something I’ve come to realize over the past couple of weeks is that not only do I see significantly more movies than the average person, but I also follow movie news much more closely, especially when it comes to trailers. I’ll be totally honest with you, I thought most people watched most trailers that came out for movies. There only a couple minutes long and they’re these little snippets of films to come. I love em! A good trailer can really take a person from somewhat uninterested to genuinely hyped for a film. This is the case for me with Detective Pikachu.

Yeah no, you can still read. There is a Detective Pikachu movie coming out next year. When I first heard about it I immediately thought, “This is going to be amazing with how weird it is or an absolute train wreck right from the get-go.”  Just think about the premise of it.

1. A live-action pokémon movie, already pretty nuts.

2. Pikachu is a detective in it. What?

3. Pikachu is played by Ryan Reynolds. Actually, this one makes a lot of sense.

With all these things considered if really feels like the movie should be just a total mess. Then the trailer for it dropped today. Here it is.

I don’t know about you, but I’m leaning on it’s going to be amazing with how weird it is line of thought. First off, the pokémon largely look really good. There’s a little bit of questionable/uncanny feeling for some of them, but for the most part were in a good spot, especially with Pikachu him… her… do pokémon have genders? I don’t know, but the point is that Pikachu looks friggen adorable. Also, this movie looks genuinely entertaining, and I can say that with some level of authority because for whatever strange reason my parents didn’t let me or my siblings play pokémon growing up so I don’t really have those rose-tinted glasses who just wants to see pokémon in real life. This trailer has actually got me excited to see this movie, although I (and also everyone else) shouldn’t be putting this much stock into a trailer, we’ve all seen great trailers that turned into dumpster fires of movies. I’m looking right at you Suicide Squad, now go back to your dark corner and think about what you did. Later.

Purple

 

IMG-1524(1)
So this is a thing.

 

I probably need to explain myself right? Also, side note, even though I’m rocking some hardcore RBF right there, I swear I’m actually pretty good with how my hair looks. Moving on now.

Can I just give folks the line, “girlfriends. Not even once” and move on? Is that satisfactory? No? It makes it sound like my girlfriend did this out of spite? Fine. Come on though, it’s not like I don’t have some history of making rash decisions regarding my hair on basically zero information. I legit shaved my head bald on nothing more than the prompt of a roommate asking if I wanted to. (That one was a big mistake though, still a good story though.)

So Here’s the basic timeline for how I ended up with purple dye in my hair. Honestly, it’s a pretty boring story. Basically, my girlfriend was dying her hair purple. Not like all of it, just like the bottom half, I guess, jeez this would be easier to explain if I just had a picture. Hold on a sec… Do I have one on my phone… No? wtf am I even trying as a boyfriend? Whatever.

Anyways she’s dying her hair and once she finishes up with it there’s a reasonable amount of dye leftover. Not a ton, but enough that it would feel wasteful to simply throw it out. At this point, Lindsay (the girlfriend) shoots me a look and with a reserved excitement asks, “Can I put it in your hair?”

Now, this next little bit takes place in about 5 seconds but takes a lot longer to explain because it involves a number of decisions that take place in my own mind. Just so you know and understand the impulsive nature of this whole thing.

When I’m asked questions like this there are two things I think about. The first is always, “What’s the worst that could happen?”. With dye involved the worst that can happen is actually pretty bad though.  At least to some people. Really in my mind, the worst thing that could happen is that it looks just dreadful, in which case the solution to my problem is pretty simple, wear a hat. I’m already known to frequently wear baseball caps so it wouldn’t even be a stretch to just wear one every day. Sure it might get a little awkward at church but I’m dating someone from the same congregation as me every Sunday is already an awkward cringefest with every member of the bishopric asking me for updates so adding the awkward conversation about a hat seems an easy task. That being said that literally a worst case scenario and frankly its pretty unlikely so I’m confident at that point to proceed on the merits of “what’s the worst that could happen.”

The second question I always ask myself when making these sort of decisions is whether or not this will make a good story.  I thought there was a reasonable chance and frankly, it’s up to you folks reading this blog post to decide if I was right about that. Either way, I thought the probability of this being a good story was high enough to proceed.

Remember all these thoughts happen in about 5 seconds.

“Sure, why not?” is what I opted for as my response. Boy, you wouldn’t believe how Lindsay’s face lit up when she heard that. Her excitement was only matched by her other roommate’s concern for my well-being. They must have thought I’d lost my bloody mind. Which is true, but like I lost it ages ago this is far from the event that confirmed my insanity.

Before we can get started with the dye though we need to solve the problem of my shirt. See I had apparently made the mistake of wearing a pretty nice shirt that day. Probably because I hadn’t realized that I would be dying my hair that day, but hey that’s my bad for not being able to see into the future. Luckily for me Lindsay’s roommate Abby had an old t-shirt that was just large enough to wrap around my neck to shield my nice button up. Oddly enough the colour of it matched pretty close to the shirt I was wearing so it looked like I had like a turtleneck on so now I also know that turtlenecks are an absolute no-go for me. Two birds one stone or something like that.

Pseudo-turtleneck in hand though I was now prepped for the dye, which Lindsay applied despite the fact that her roommate is a licensed cosmetologist. Still not 100% sure why it happened that way, but hey I’m not here to complain just tell stories. I was pretty convinced that the dye wasn’t even going to stick all that well anyways. It had been exposed for a pretty long time and absolutely nothing had been done to my hair to prepare it for dye. Literally, she just took the dye and painted (is that a good word for this? idk) the top of my head with it. So how likely was it for the dye to even stick? Pretty good as it turns out.

Half an hour later and things have settled and it’s time to give my hair a quick wash before revealing the final product. Minor snag though. The Branbury, the apartment complex me and Lindsay both live at, is BYU approved housing. Which means there are a few arbitrary rules that have to be followed. Like guys can’t use the bathrooms in girls apartments. (I KNOW ITS RIDICULOUS YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME!) This means that in order to wash my hair out I have to lean over and use their kitchen sink. Perfect. So I’ve got my head in a kitchen sink and as I’m getting my hair washed out I’m seeing a lot of purples come out. Figures I think to myself, the dye didn’t stick, which is a shame but removes any fears I would’ve had about how it’ll look.

Nope. Turns out that really normal (I really know nothing about hair do I?) and a couple of minutes later I’m looking in the mirror at this freaking anime character that’s taken the place of myself. Oh well, now I can at least live out my fantasy of being an anime character, though the magic powers haven’t appeared yet which is straight bs. Also the huge freaking smile on Lindsay’s face when she saw my hair was pretty worth it as well. Not even to mention that it doesn’t even look all that bad. Maybe next time I’ll go all out and dye all my hair… Nah, that ish is expensive. Later!

Catching Up

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

It’s something we all gotta do pretty much every day. Some of us need more than it than others. For myself, I only really need 4-5 hours of sleep each night to keep my functioning at 100%. For the past couple of weeks, however, I’ve only been averaging maybe 2 1/2 hours a night. This has resulted in a slow decay of my ability to function like an ordinary human being that has only been staved off by pumping my body full of caffeine each and every day. Not exactly a healthy or sustainable way of life.

Let’s be clear about something though. I am the only person to blame for this predicament. No one ever forced me to stay awake into the wee hours of the morning, I opted into working a job that begins at 4:30 AM, I am the one at the register buying the Red Bull, and I’m the one that cracks the can open and puts that chemical concoction into my body. These were my decisions and I’ll own them. I’ve been 100% happy to sacrifice my sleep to maintain my current schedule.

It’s just that I’ve hit the brick wall so to say today.

Normally the way my Thursday schedule goes is that I get off work at 8 AM (I work 5 3 1/2 hour shifts each week.) go home and nap for a few hours waking up around 10:30 to 11. I don’t have classes until 3 PM so there’s plenty of time to take a nap, shower and get ready before heading to campus for the school day. I like to get to campus around noon and study in the library for a few hours before class, then once my class (there’s just the one on Thursday’s) is over I’ll grab some food on campus and decide to either go back to the library if there’s a pressing need or head on home for the evening to write a blog or maybe hang out with some people, I can be social you know!

This is not how today went. I have an alarm set to 4 am that either didn’t go off or I was so sleep deprived that my body just straight up ignored it. Cut then to me waking up at 4:28, exactly two minutes before my shift started. It’s physically impossible for me to get there in that time so I ended up being around 10 minutes late. That’s not a big deal, in all honesty, my boss is pretty cool about people being occasionally late, she manages some 15 of us student employees who come in at 4:30 she gets that time management isn’t any of our forte’s. Once I’m there work proceeds as normal, I stay 15 minutes late to make up for being late and to get a couple extra tasks done and then I’m heading home.

Once I get home I make a bee-line straight for my room to get my precious nap in. I’m so looking forward to this thing, so much so that I don’t even bother to switch to the shorts I normally sleep in, the joggers I wore to work will be just fine to sleep in.  My head hits the pillow and just like that the lights are out. When I regain consciousness I grab my phone and to my horror, it isn’t 11 AM like it normally is, it’s nearly 5pm. I’ve completely missed my class, (again this isn’t the biggest deal, lots of extra credit opportunity to make up for missing a lecture here and there) at this moment I come to the powerful realization I started this blog with.

I’ve hit a brick wall, whatever I’ve been doing these past couple of weeks can’t continue in the same manner. I’ve got to start getting to bed at a more reasonable hour, I’ve got to stop relying on caffeine to get me through the day, because if I continue down this path it’s gonna be more than the being a little tardy to work and missing a lecture every once and a while. If I allow myself to continue in this way this it the beginning of a great unravelling for my life. I’ve been down that road before and I refuse to walk it again.

So I’ve written this blog to mark this decision. I Jonathan James Tollestrup vow to get some damn sleep.  I also vow to stop ingesting the chemical concoctions known as energy drinks. I’ll hold on to my caffeinated pops for now, but they also ought to know that they’re in my crosshairs. If you see me awake at some ungodly hour during the weekdays or with a Red Bull in my hand. Reprimand me, harshly. That’s all, thanks for reading as always. Later.