Endings

Let’s just get to it. Lindsay and I broke up. She broke up with me, I know that’s something people want to know. I told her I was going to write this blog post as well. Writing is my main way of processing these feelings and I just need to start going through those feelings.

What does that mean for me? Honest to goodness I don’t know. All I know right now is that there is a weight attached to my whole body that just won’t let up. I know that I’m angry. There’s always anger that comes with things like this. Never at her though, I couldn’t be angry at her. She explained why she wanted to break up well and had very good reasons. I won’t go into it because that’s entirely personal and between the two of us. Not something you put on a blog post.

It’ll take some time but I do believe we’ll remain friends. Some of you will say that this is a terrible idea, and you may well be right. It may lead to a lot more pain for both of us, but our friendship is valuable enough to warrant an attempt. We’re not going to try and pretend like we can just swap over to being friends again. They’ll be a lengthy period of time where we don’t talk to each other so that we both and process and move on.

It’s going to a lonely period of time, I won’t lie. I have wonderful friends in my life and I’ll be sure to spend quality time with them, but anyone who has been in a serious break-up knows that there holes left that no other person can fill. There are wounds that can only be healed by time.

I won’t lie, I didn’t see this coming. I’m devastated and I’m heart-broken. I’ll be alright though, eventually. I don’t think there’s much more I can say right now. It’s all so fresh. Later.

Where I’ve Been

Where has the time gone? Seriously have you seen my time? I can’t find it anywhere.

You wanna hear a really obvious statement? Life gets really busy sometimes.

My life has been super busy lately, let me get you up to speed.

As of right now, I work two part-time jobs, one as an early morning custodian at BYU, (4am-8am baby! Sleep is for the weak!) and the other as a Deli Clerk at Day’s Market, a local grocery store. (SCHLICE SCHLICE) On top of that, I’m taking a couple of classes at BYU still. Only like 6 credit hours though so not totally insane, just partially. Also I’ve started writing pitches in an attempt to get a few freelance writing jobs, figured I should actually try and make money at this at some point right? With all that the few spare moments I have left over I try to make sure that I’m spending enough time with my wonderful and lovely girlfriend Lindsay.

This leaves just no time to do much of anything, let alone sit down and try to write blog posts that aren’t absolute trash. Now should be the time where I present some sort of remedy for this problem, but frankly, I don’t have much of a solution worked out. The best I’ve come up with so far is to get back on a regular sleeping schedule, but anyone who knows me knows that me and sleep have just never worked out. We’re like Ross and Rachel, one of is always pining for the other but it’s just not gonna work out. Maybe it will one day, I haven’t finished Friends yet so I really don’t know. I’m just trying to use the references now that I actually know them. (I wonder what the equivalent of “WE WERE ON A BREAK” would be in this analogy? it was only a nap? I don’t know, probably stretching it too far)

There is something I can promise for sure though. If and when I do manage to find some time that isn’t dedicated to something else I’ll be sitting in my chair, slapping away at my keyboard to try and write blogs. Just be aware that because of time restrictions I won’t have time to research anything so I’m just gonna have to write about what I already know really well. So lots of movie and League of Legends ramblings are coming your way! (YAY everyone loves league of legends!) Later!


Provos Most Eligable?

Well, life got busy for me for a little while there and that pushed back my write-up for the second episode of the surprise online hit “The Bachelor of Provo” so far that the show isn’t even called The Bachelor of Provo anymore.

For those unaware (I can’t fathom how you wouldn’t know about the renaming but still want to read this blog post) shortly after the second episode of The Bachelor of Provo a few news outlets had started picking up on the buzz around the show and once they started publishing interviews with the creators and articles about the show surprise, surprise the big bad guys of Warner Bros came down with copyright allegations and they came down hard. So hard that they forced the show to rename itself and drop the rose ceremony from the show entirely, alongside some other less monumental changes.

I won’t lie, part of me wants to get into the nitty-gritty of exactly why the show got copyright striked and how totally in the right Warner Bros was to do it (legally at least) but that’s probably a whole other write-up on its own. So let’s just stay focused on my thoughts and feelings of episode two of Provo’s Most Eligible?

Right at the start, we have another skit about Provo dating and just… no. We’re all painfully aware of what this show is about and if we’re sitting down to watch episode two we don’t need to be reminded or sold on it again. We want to watch cringy Provo people be hilariously awkward around each other so we can all feel better about the awkward, cringy stuff we do in our day to day lives. No skits required.

Moving past that though we get the intro sequence and then cut directly to… Colin walking onto a stage and doing some of the most amazing, and definitely awkward white guy dancing ever caught on camera. I’m a really bad dancer, but that was just rough to watch.

After (AFTER) Colin’s routine? It’s explained to us that the group date portion of the show will be a talent show! Oh cool right? Wrong. Rather then having a diverse set of acts to showcase the uniqueness of each contestant we get just an enormous hot mess. Props to Annalee though for at least trying to be unique with tap-rapping. Would’ve been like way cooler if you did both at the same time, but separate is fine too I suppose.

I know I said I wouldn’t mention copyright stuff, but can we not all acknowledge the hilarity of this show consistently using that garbage copyright free music only to get struck down with copyright strikes anyway? Just hilarious.

Anyways, after the talent show we’re treated to our first solo date with Colin and Megan! Megan is the one… ahhh…. hold on. *Googles furiously* Megan the surgical technology major! I’m sure she has other definining personality traits but good lord can we not tell from the show, at least we get this scene with the blanket depicted below and it’s gotta be the most provo thing I’ve ever seen on a screen. Just spectacular for all the wrong reasons.

Cred @Provosmosteligable

From there were back to them all hanging out and trying to chat with Colin and we finally get some juicy drama. It starts with Abby taking Colin aside and basically asking him why he’s even bothering with these other girls because their connection is so strong.

Big plays for big ballers ya know?

The drama continues to flow as it’s revealed (By Abby I think, pot stirrer much?) that Lucy, in between filming episode one and two got a boyfriend. Seriously people, if you’ve never been to Provo this is actually the kind of stuff that happens on a regular basis. Colin and Lucy handle it like mature adults though and Lucy departs the show that night. Whatever shall we do without another blonde, average height, person from… was it Hawaii? Yeah, Hawaii. That’s the one. Jeez Colin has a type and it’s showing.

There’s a couple more things that happen like Kate showing Colin more magic, and even though it’s totally obvious that the show is super fake bordering on scripted the two of them have a fun energy together. Like two dweebs just dorking out together.

Oh yeah, there’s also this tiny little thing of Annali trying to snag a SMOOCH from Colin. Dang, I’m upset that I’ve already used the bold strategy meme in this write-up because that was a extra big play for a truly enormous baller. Props to going for it Annali, and extra props for asking for consent first, it’s 2019 people, consent isn’t hard. Simple verbal confirmations are easy enough right? I mean he shot her down so that’s unfortunate for Annali, but I’ve still gotta give her points for trying right?

After the smooch rejection tragedy (or a blessing depending on your POV) we get to the rose ceremony (last one apparently!) and honest to goodness who even cares at this point. Both Annalee and Annali move onto the next round which means there is still hope in my heart that they’ll have a duel to the death to absorb each other’s powers highlander style. The adorkable Kate got a rose and so did everyone’s favourite girl with an accent Elena, everyone else doesn’t matter anymore as far as I’m concerned.

New episode of Provo’s Most Eligable comes out this weekend and now that I’ve got a somewhat normal schedule I should be able to get the write-up on it out in a more timely manner. So like a week, week and a half from now I guess? Till then, Later!


Important Q’s About The Bachelor of Provo

So the universe hates me and I wasn’t given a new episode of The Bachelor of Provo to dissect, but I’m determined to keep doing write-ups on this show every Monday. So in lieu of having a new episode to talk about, I’m just gonna ask some questions that I think could have a pretty big impact on the outcome of the show. I’m aware that I’m probably taking a reality show based in Provo too seriously, but what else am I going to do with my time? Something healthy and productive? LAME

Just to prove how way too seriously I’m taking this show here’s a fun fact. The average age of the remaining contestants is 19.3. Am I out of control? Whose to say? (I am)

When we’re introduced to Collin he states that he’s never been in a real relationship, first and second dates only. Combine that with the fact that he’s young and fresh off of his mission this leads me to ask, “Has Collin had his first kiss yet?” It’s entirely possible that he hasn’t right? If he hasn’t that can totally change the game, it would give a huge advantage to whatever girl can grab a smooch from him first. It would also pose a real risk because if a girl tried to force that moment (ya know that’s gonna happen) it would probably spell the end of their run on the show. A huge opportunity just sitting there if someone can navigate it properly.

I’ve also come to believe that another enormous opportunity is waiting for these girls. Collin is a recently returned missionary who hasn’t adjusted back to ordinary life yet, whoever can genuinely make a spiritual connection with him is going to have an HUGE leg up. Despite the use of all caps, the real keyword of that sentence is genuinely. Can they do it though? Can they connect with Collin over the gospel? Much like the kissing thing if someone tries to force a spiritual moment to happen it’s going to blow up in their face worse than that time Dwight used an insecticide grenade. I obviously can’t be certain of this, but I’m guessing that none of the girls on this show are return missionaries themselves. Pretty much because if any of them were then they would’ve brought it up when Collin talked about his mission. (which they all pretty much asked about) Shame, that could’ve been a huge boon for someone. Perhaps it’ll be like this show’s version of a twist, “Gotcha, turns out I served a mission and it was also in Argentina Collin!” *Audience collectively gasps*

Another big advantage these girls could give themselves is to stop chewing freaking gum while on camera. Who thought that was a good idea? Whoever it was fire their sorry butt it’s awful. Hopefully, they fix that in episode 2, but we’ll only know on the 25th when it airs. Until then I’ll just stare at my wall or something. Later!

Photo credit to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, check it out!


The Bachelor… of Provo

There’s a new show in town that I just have to talk about. The Bachelor of Provo. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is, take the classic (not sure about the use of the word classic there) format of the hit reality show The Bachelor, transplant it into the Provo dating scene and wait for the magic to unfold. I’m officially obsessed.

Some of you might be thinking that I’m going to be railing against the show, making fun of it and using it to showcase what I think is wrong with dating in Provo.

Wrong.

I’m getting on board with this thing. I’m embracing it. I will be beginning a weekly series recapping and giving my thoughts on each episode as they come out starting today with the premiere episode. Not much of what I say from here on out will make sense if you haven’t watched it, so check the link here for all the glory! (Be aware it’s a 40-minute episode so make sure you have the time to watch the whole thing.)

Before I really get into it I do have to level one major criticism at the show. The lighting is just awful. If you’re thinking of starting a show and using the regular incandescent bulbs in your house/apartment do everyone a favor and throw your camera in the garbage. Or buy a proper lighting setup, you can get decent ones at amazon for like 50-60 bucks, and trust me they make a huge differance.

Ok, with that out of the way we can get into the meat of this thing. The show starts with what I can only call a skit showcasing the woes of being a dude trying to date in Provo. Sure some people will label it cringy, but honestly, if you need something to set up the premise of your show this works just as well as anything else would.

At the end of the skit we’re introduced to our beloved host, Remington, and we get a real good look at just how bad the lighting situation is. Sorry, but its just bad. Remington gives us and the Bachelor, Colin, a pep talk and we roll the intro sequence. Not gonna lie, I think the intro is really good, the lighting is much improved, the camera movement is nice, but I have a feeling it is because it’s mimicking the original show. (Can’t say for sure I’ve never watched the real thing.)

So let’s talk about our Bachelor. I think one of the really smart things about this show is actually the choice of Colin as the Bachelor. He strikes me very much as an everyman kind of person. He embodies the idea of the average guy in Provo, and I mean that in a nice way. The fact that when he’s talking about what he looks for in a girl he says, “…someone I can have a good discussion with…” really lets you in on how fresh off of a mission he is though. It’s a classic missionary word. Otherwise, he seems like a decent, nice, normal guy. You know except for the fact he’s on this show, that’s definitely not normal.

Now it’s time for the girls since we started with like 22 girls I’m gonna have to go really fast through them. Also, to these women who happen upon this, please note you signed up to be on a show where 22 of you try all simultaneously date one guy from Utah. It’s watered down polygamy and I’m gonna make jokes about it. Buckle up. It’s nothing personal. Except it is, sorry.

McKenna: Basic Provo girl.

Aubrey: Whenever I hear someone say, “I’m super sarcastic” I’m just a little doubtful of them. Maybe that’s just me being elitist about how sarcastic I am, but those who know me know I earn that title of sarcastic every bloody day.

Julianne: Bringing snacks is a bold move, and I respect that.

Lucy: Basic Provo girl. (Even if she’s from Hawaii)

Maddy: Oh yikes, going down the whole, “I knew him growing up” is just a bad idea. Lucky for her he does remember her, but still a bad call if you ask me.

Annalee: She leads off by saying she’s looking for a family man, and I just feel like if you’re trying to date a 20-year-old that’s a good way to terrify him.

Megan: She says she’s not your typical Provo girl, which means she’s your typical Provo girl.

Bailey: This is just mean of me, but she bobs her head everywhere while she talks, just stop please.

Kate: This girl says nothing about herself, so I’m going to assume she’s in the Illuminati.

Abby: Basic Provo girl.

Molly: She’s got a real quiet demeanor about her, which makes me wonder why she signed up for the show.

Hannah: Basic Provo girl.

Keli: Hey she’s got a real in with the whole sharing a class together thing. Curious to see how far she can push that.

Rachel: I really like her glasses, but her wants from a relationship seem contrary to the idea of being on this show.

Sarah: Basic Provo girl. Her force of attraction joke is also corny as it gets.

Maddy G: Yikes. Any girl that refers to herself (even in a joking manner) as a dime is probably too into her own looks for it to be healthy.

Annali: Bringing her own roses? Not so sure about that one… Also another self-made joke about how good looking they are, doesn’t bode well.

Eva: What is that dancing? That’s some ish my girlfriend does. Which obviously means Eva’s cool… (You’re beautiful Lindsay!) Although the dancing goes on like 10 seconds too long.

Shannon: Basic Provo girl. Also her math jokes falls so flat it hurt my soul. Practice your routine girl.

Sabrina: She likes to write which means I’m biased towards her, but otherwise she seems like a basic Provo girl.

Elena: Accent is like a get out of jail free card for the first round of this thing isn’t it?

Kaitlyn: Guitar? Get out of here. Like really. Are you gonna play Wonderwall next?

So there are the girls, I could talk a bit about the 30 second dates they all go on but this thing is long enough and they all ask the same questions which was super boring so onto the rose ceremony!

Hannah, did I say you were basic? My apologies, that shade you were throwing after getting eliminated was straight fire! This is the kind of thing I desperately wanted in this show. Real talk though, dropping that level of salt and then saying, “not mad” is equivalent of two dudes making out with each other and then saying, “no homo”. Also only doing two exit interviews is kind of lame, I wanted drama!

I guess I should make some predictions at this point. Elena will be the one most hated by the other girls because they got nothing but envy for that accent. Annali will be the villain, she’s just got that vibe around her and she got that mad beef with Elena over the impression rose. I knew I came down hard on Maddy and the whole “I knew him growing up thing.” but I can’t lie that it gives her such a huge edge early on and I think she’ll ride that lead out to a win on The Bachelor of Provo.

I think that’s all I can say about this show, for now, I’m excited to keep watching it and hopefully, you all are excited to read what I have to say about it each week. I promise next week will be more brief, with intros and everything there’s just so much to go through. Later!

The photo used is not mine, it belongs to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, give them a follow or something.



Last Seminar

These are my final thoughts about the dating seminar I attended some two or so weeks ago. Frankly I don’t want to touch this topic again for a very long time.

I just don’t know what to say about this dating seminar anymore. I’ve been racking my brain for weeks now trying to figure out how to continue to write about it but absolutely nothing feels right once I put it down on paper or try to type it out. 

I just don’t know what to say about this dating seminar anymore. I’ve been racking my brain for weeks now trying to figure out how to continue to write about it but absolutely nothing feels right once I put it down on paper or try to type it out.

So here’s what I’ll say. I think 90+% of what I saw and heard in that seminar is just incorrect. I think this seminar was given by people who believe themselves to be experts in the field when in reality they’re far from it. Do you want to know what critical piece I think they’re missing from their seminar? It’s a woman’s touch. This was by far my biggest takeaway from the seminar, it was embarrassingly obvious that no woman had ever been consulted whilst this seminar was being created, in fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if no woman had ever seen or heard any part of this seminar, even though it’s specifically designed to help men be more appealing to women.

How could I possibly guess at that? Well, I took what I heard at this seminar and presented it to women and asked what they thought. They all pointed out that they thought the information was bad and at times creepy. Now, this was a pretty small sample size so the information could have a pretty wide margin of error, but when it comes to what women want, I’d take the word of a few women over the word of someone who took dating advice from pick-up artists on YouTube.

I’m no expert in dating, but here’s my advice and I guarantee it’ll help you out. Make sure you’re happy with the person you are. Take a look in the mirror and really ask yourself how much you like that person. If you don’t ask yourself why and work on it. If you’re unhappy single the odds of you having a happy and fulfilling relationship are slim to none. The harsh truth is that most people at dating seminars don’t need dating seminars, they need self-help seminars.

If you’re happy and still unsure how to go about dating, ask your female friends. If you don’t have female friends to ask, sit down and really think about why that is, make some adjustments about how you behave around women and then go out and make some, and then ask them what they think is important in dating.

Don’t change who you are as a person though, its super cliche to say that the most important thing to be a successful dater is being yourself but it’s true. If you try to be someone you’re not, you might find yourself in a relationship, but the longer you keep up that charade the more miserable you’ll become, besides if you’re happy with who you are there really isn’t a need to change, you just have to keep looking (not hunting) until you happen upon that right person. It might result in a long wait for that special someone, but it’s worth it. Take it from me. Later.

So here’s what I’ll say. I think 90+% of what I saw and heard in that seminar is just incorrect. I think this seminar was given by people who believe themselves to be experts in the field when in reality they’re far from it. Do you want to know what critical piece I think they’re missing from their seminar? It’s a woman’s touch. This was by far my biggest takeaway from the seminar, it was embarrassingly obvious that no woman had ever been consulted whilst this seminar was being created, in fact it wouldn’t surprise me if no woman had ever seen or heard any part of this seminar, even though it’s specifically designed to help men be more appealing to women. 

How could I possibly guess at that? Well I took what I heard at this seminar and presented it to women and asked what they thought. They all pointed out that they thought the information was bad and at times creepy. Now this was a pretty small sample size so the information could have a pretty wide margin of error, but when it comes to what women want, I’d take the word of a few women over the word of someone who took dating advice from pick-up artists on YouTube. 

I’m no expert in dating, but here’s my advice and I guarantee it’ll help you out. Make sure you’re happy with the person you are. Take a look in the mirror and really ask yourself how much you like that person. If you don’t ask yourself why and work on it. If you’re unhappy single the odds of you having a happy and fulfilling relationship are slim to none. The harsh truth is that most people at dating seminars don’t need dating seminars, they need self-help seminars. 

If you’re happy and still unsure how to go about dating, ask your female friends. If you don’t have female friends to ask, sit down and really think about why that is, make some adjustments about how you behave around women and then go out and make some, and then ask them what they think is important in dating. 

Don’t change who you are as a person though, its super cliche to say that the most important thing to be a successful dater is being yourself but it’s true. If you try to be someone you’re not, you might find yourself in a relationship, but the longer you keep up that charade the more miserable you’ll become, besides if you’re happy with who you are there really isn’t a need to change, you just have to keep looking (not hunting) until you happen upon that right person. It might result in a long wait for that special someone, but it’s worth it. Take it from me. Later. 

Hands

Ok I’m gonna go ahead and be a little lazy today, just going to poke fun at myself quick.

Over the weekend I went up to Temple Square in Salt Lake City to see all the Christmas lights that get put up, I went with a bunch of my friends and my girlfriend. It was a lovely time. If you’re in the area you should really check it out, its a lot of fun. Just be aware that parking sucks this time of year so be patient with all of that stuff.

“Jonny you said you were gonna make fun of yourself.”

I’m getting to it, just chill. Whilst we were up looking at the lights our group came upon a store window with “mistletoe” written on it and after some peer pressure from friends Lindsay and I got a picture of us kissing underneath the writing. Isn’t that sweet? Sure, except for the fact that in the uncropped version of that picture you can see my arm dangling by my side  nice and awkward like, check it out. 

Oh yeah, look at that thing just… what am I doing?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ricky Bobby is now my spirit animal.

Why am I writing this post out, I could simply never post the uncropped version and get away with it couldn’t I? Yes, but my last couple of blogs (and surely some future ones) were poking a lot of fun at other peoples dating beliefs and practices and I wanted to remind folks that I’m not so arrogant to believe I am the one great authority in matters like this. I definitely do stuff that makes no sense when it comes to dating and I do a lot of silly things that deserve to be made fun of. So let’s all remember that when I write about dating stuff in the future that 1. I’m not saying everything coming out of my mouth is gospel and 2. We’re having fun here, not reading a TED talk. Ok? Great, later.

Charming Girls and Twisting Words

Ok so yesterday I worked through what I thought was some of the most dangerous thinking presented at this dating seminar I went to earlier in the week. Today I want to be less depressing and focus on some of the more silly things said. Let’s have some fun shall we? Also I think I mentioned this yesterday, but I don’t mean to rag on anyone in particular here, any issues I have are more with the general dating culture here than with any partiuclar individual, so relax. 

I’ll start today off with another quote,

“Women want a prince (or a high-quality man) to charm them until they simply can’t resist him any longer”

Yup, you nailed it, buddy. I mean what women doesn’t want someone who relentlessly pursues them until they simply submit themselves and go out with you. Sounds like true love to me. Maybe I’m not being fair to them right now and twisting their words, but come on! You really don’t have twist things very far to get to where I’m at! Like who uses word like “can’t resist” when they’re talking about dating and doesn’t expect people to give them this look.

If you’re dating life has enough opposition that the word “resist” is the first thing popping into your head than chances are your strategy needs a little refinement.

Now I can already hear my father typing up a comment for this, “Your mother ran away from me the first time I talked to her, I would call that resistance and it all worked out didn’t it?” Yeah, dad, it did, and I’m really grateful for that because otherwise I wouldn’t be here to make fun of you, but I think we can both agree that your situation is more of an exception to the rule than an example that proves it. Generally speaking, if a girl physically runs away from you that’s a sign to pack it in and take the L, make sure you hold on tight to it because you need to learn from this particular L. (Hats off to you dad for being oblivious enough to ignore that though so that I could exist! WHOOOO)

By the way I’m totally comfortable telling that story because I’ve heard my dad tell me it I don’t know… 7 billion times and somehow each time he tells it he owns it even harder than the last time. He’s actually totally unashamed about the whole thing. Honestly it’s one of the things I really like about him.

Back to the seminar though…

Let’s move onto specific terminology used. Hey, if I use the term “Social Proof” what springs into your head? Is it like a piece of paper you have that proves you know how to socialize with people in a non-serial killer way? Or maybe like a mathematical proof that demonstrates why nice guys finish last? Or perhaps its a reference to a term used in a sociological study looking into dating practices? Nope all wrong. Social proof is basically when you have cool friends so girls know you’re a cool person. I’m not a woman so I might be wrong about this, but I’m not currently aware of anyone who entered into a relationship with someone because they had cool friends. Sure I know people who set their friends up with people, but they don’t go on that date and have the girl say, “you’re friends with Billy so I know I should be attracted to you.” Like just… yeesh.

“Princes are able to elevate a princess to the station of a queen.”

Another lovely quote ain’t it? I’m sorry if I caught you off guard with the poetic beauty of it. It’s just such a well-crafted sentence it really des… I can’t keep playing this thing straight. Good lord this thing sounds like they took comments from r/niceguys and just plastered them on their PowerPoint (of course there was a PowerPoint! They’re professionals.) Like the sentiment is actually fine, if you’re a good person then you should be able to make your partners life better, but do we have to phrase it like that? Ladies just imagine for a moment a guy that you’ve been on a couple of dates with, they’ve gone ok but you’re not sure how you feel about him yet, then he drops this line, ” You are a princess, but I want to make you a queen.” If you got any sense it’s just like

There’s more to go through here, but I’m lazy and I’m kinda hoping to stretch this thing out until Christmas break so we’ll go over more of it another time. Later!

Princley Dating

“A prince knows he has many options.”

This is a quote from a dating seminar I attended last night. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Why are you going to dating seminars, Jonny? I thought you had a girlfriend? Did you already screw that up?” No I did not and yes I still have a girlfriend. She actually encouraged me to attend this thing. Not entirely sure what to make of that though… regardless that’s not the point,  I’m here now to talk about that quote because I think there’s a fair bit to unpack there and it’s just the first of many crazy things I heard last night. We’re going to be talking about this thing for a while folks. Buckle up.

Let’s being with what the speakers intended meaning. Basically, they were rephrasing the age-old saying of “There is plenty of fish in the sea” meaning that you shouldn’t get discouraged by rejection in dating because there are lots of people out there who could potentially be “the one”. (I say that even though I absolutely don’t believe in there being “the one” but that’s another thought for another time.)  You rephrase it so that people think the thought you’re having is a new and original one instead of something people have been saying forever. It gives you the authority in a sense. You have a unique view on a topic so people should listen to you. In that sense, it’s whatever. It sounds fancy and nice I guess.

However, I think there’s more to it though.

First off let’s quickly move through the use of a royal title to describe ourselves. You’re not royalty, neither am I. We’re ordinary people and believing that you are a “prince” is just cocky. Don’t get me wrong we should all believe in ourselves but not believe we’re better than others. How about “A good man knows he has options?” Is that too much to ask?

That being said what I really want to dig in on is the use of the word “prince”. Why use that word in particular? Wouldn’t it make more sense to use the word king instead? Why leave yourself with a lesser title?

Because the speakers do not believe that they or anyone in their seminar are kings. Kings are married. Princes are single. In order to ascend to the throne of fulfillment, you must have a queen. This is in my mind, is very dangerous thinking. Sidenote I’m not trying to rag super hard on these guys either, because while they are the ones that put it into a phrase I think this kind of thinking is very pervasive throughout YSA culture, especially here in Utah.  Far too many people here define their success in life by whether or not they’re a relationship. This leads them to believe that if they are single they are doing something wrong.

This is wrong.

Marriage does not make you a better person. In fact, crazy hot take here, but being married doesn’t really change who you are at all it just changes how you file your taxes. If you are of the mindset of dating just to get married so you can feel like a complete person then pal I’ve got some important info for you. Marriage isn’t going to make you feel better about who you are, not in the long run and if you get married because you think that being single is a lesser existence than I feel a tremendous sense of sorrow for your spouse.

Being single is a perfectly good thing to be, and so is being in a relationship. Moving from one to another doesn’t say anything about your character. Maybe if you become single because you cheated that says something, but that’s more about you being a cheater than you being single again. Being single and being in a relationship are just states of existence. Don’t worry about them, worry about trying to be your best self, find fulfillment in your own life instead of someone else’s. If you believe that you are not successful in life without a relationship you do not love yourself, and if you do not love yourself you cannot be a caring partner in a relationship, at least not to the level the other person deserves.

If you think you’re a prince, don’t go looking for a princess. Ask yourself why you aren’t the king of your life? Just don’t be egotistical about it. Remember, most of us are just ordinary people and thinking were the royalty of humanity is plain ole arrogant. Just be a good person and don’t worry so much about your relationship status. Later.



Belated Birthdays

It’s been a busy couple of days so I haven’t found the time to get a birthday blog post written out.

Ok, let’s talk about my year. When I turned 25 last year the reality was that I was not in a really good place. Turning 25 was a point where I made a realization that I really wasn’t doing what I wanted to be doing with my life. I felt creatively stunted, burnt out, and easily worst of all totally unmotivated to even bother trying to change things.

Luckily this didn’t persist. I got back into writing with a determined focus to find my voice in words. I still think there’s a lot of room for refinement, but I think this whole informal, conversational tone I’ve been doing lately has been a really good fit for me and it’s shown itself in the outstanding improvements to my writing over this past year.  I’m honest to goodness stunned with how much progress I made as a writer in the past year, and also with how much room I still have to grow. I’m really excited to keep improving this blog and the rest of my writing in general.

Life didn’t change just in terms of writing through this last year either. I’ve made it abundantly clear in my blog that my relationship with religion, for the most part, has been pretty casual, there was a brief moment where I took it real serious and it didn’t pan out well so for a very long time I kept it at arms distance. Maybe enough time had passed and my heart had softened, or maybe living in Utah for two years has just worn me down, but religion has taken a much more prominent role in my life again. I’ll never be one of those Peter Priesthood types that really push religion out of every orifice of my body but it definitely matters to me in a real way again. Weirdly enough it was all the little social things the church does that got me actually taking my religion seriously again. So even though I like to make fun of things like FHE, Ward activities, Break the Fast, etc. (sorry if you’re not up on your Morm… Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint’s lingo)  I have to admit that those things played a big role in actually getting me back to church on a regular basis.

Combining with a newfound sense of focus and pride in my writing and a renewed faith, I also found it in me this year to actually try and be a social human being again. I felt like I actually had the confidence to put myself out there, I mean I’m still pretty introverted so it really worked out more like I fell into a social circle but hey, take those W’s where you can find them. I did actually put myself out there in the world of dating and experienced legitimate success. What the F… That still strikes me as utterly and totally bizarre. Maybe I’ll get used to that at some point, but it’s probably more likely that I’ll continue to be in total bewilderment for the time being.

So long as I remember to take deep breaths and not act like a total weirdo I should be fine. Wait I do act like a total weirdo like all the time… oh boy…

Weird rambling about dating that I’m definitely going to get flak for aside, my 26th year on this planet turned out pretty great. I’m pretty happy with how it all turned out. I’m not satisfied though, I need to build on the successes I had last year and continue to refine myself and what I do. That should be a lot of fun. Later!