Honorable Enforcement

With the creation of the @honorcodestories Instagram account, there has been a ton of talk around the honor code office of Brigham Young University (BYU). In the last 72 hours or so the account has surged from 80 followers to over 12,000 (15,000 at the time of posting) and the owner of the account has been interviewed by a number of news channels and is preparing to give interviews for newspapers including at least 2 out of state papers. Suffice to say it’s quickly grown into quite the topic of discussion here in Provo and may become a talking point to even larger audiences as the week continues. I obviously want to get my two cents in because I’m just an opinionated punk who can’t help himself. It’s also something that I feel very strongly about.

I don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about the ins and outs of the honor code. You can read it for yourself here if you’re curious. All I’ll say is that most of it is already in line with teachings and practices of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and with the vast majority of students at BYU being members so most of that stuff shouldn’t be all that controversial. I don’t have a real problem with the honor code itself, if it were up to me I’d tweak a few things but nothing major. My beef is with how the honor code is enforced and the office that does that enforcing. So let’s remember that going forward. Honor code? weird but OK. Honor code office? Terrible and in desperate need of change.

Let’s also get something clear, one of the central ideas, in fact, the central idea of The Church is that Jesus Christ suffered in Gethsemane and died on Calvary so he could atone for the sins of humanity. This means that we can all repent of sin and be forgiven. Forgiveness and mercy are what’s emphasized in Church teaching. It should follow then that an institution like BYU and its enforcement of their honor code should emphasize forgiveness and mercy, but forgiveness and mercy are not what is emphasized by the honor code office. The honor code office is one that seeks to mete out punishment and what they view as justice at every opportunity. It is not a place where merciful solutions are sought out. This massive difference in approach is at the core with my problem with the honor code office. Nothing about what I’m reading feels like they have any love for the students they’re supposed to be helping.

I should also mention that I have no personal history with the honor code office. I’ve never been asked to come in. No punishment has been given to me or anything like that. I’ve been somewhat aware of the absurdities of the honor code office, but never in a direct way. It was just this week where I started to learn more about the specifics and these stories are what’s really got my stomach turning.

One thing about the honor code office that honestly just boggles my mind are the stories of students who have done things before they attended BYU (and therefore before they signed the honor code) that would be considered against the honor code and the punishments handed out for such actions. We all get why this is backwards right? How it’s totally unfair to punish someone for doing something BEFORE they agreed not to do it? Right? So we can all agree that’s messed up.

Another frightening practice I see in these stories that very much bothers me is how honor code office will call mental health clinics and demand confidential information about students who have used their services.

That is beyond a yikes from me. It’s disgusting.

It’s just a horrible thing to try and violate the confidentiality of a patient and their therapist. For some students, their therapist may be the only person they feel like they can trust with this sensitive information regarding deeply personal and potentially traumatic events in their lives and the expectation of confidentiality is one of the things that can help these students feel comfortable enough to talk about their traumas and begin to work through them and heal. I can’t imagine how much of a setback it could be for someone working through trauma to not only find out your therapist gave away your secret but you now have the added stress that you may be kicked out of university for trusting a therapist. Not OK.

Then there’s the difference in enforcement by the honor code office between women and men. A horrific theme that emerges is of women who get assaulted by their boyfriends or guys they’re on a date with. They (The women) then report themselves to the honor code office and are punished whilst the men get off Scot-free or perhaps a slap on the wrist. It’s totally unacceptable under any circumstance. Even if you think the honor code is totally backwards you would agree that the insanity should be applied evenly to all who agree to it no? If there is was even a single instance where this has happened in a place like a corporation or other professional environment heads would roll for something so terrible.

I don’t want to just sit here and complain about all the things I think are awful about the honor code office. I want to try and offer the bare bones of what a solution would be for them. It’s really rather simple. You need a dramatic culture shift within the honor code office. Remember earlier when I pointed out that The Church preaches forgiveness and mercy through Jesus Christ and his Atonement? The honor code office needs to reflect those teachings, not strive against it.

Students who make honest mistakes should not worry about whether they’ve jeopardized their entire academic career because things got a little hot and heavy with their girlfriend/boyfriend or they let peer pressure get the better of them and had a few drinks. When students feel this way their instinct is going to be to hide from their actions, and this develops a culture of secrecy that can only lead to worse problems.

Students who break the honor code rules should not be immune to consequences for their actions, and I would never suggest that, but those consequences should be structured in a way that reminds these students that even though they’ve fallen down that their school is there to help them back up, not kick them while they’re down. Shaming those who are trying to do good has no place at the Lord’s university. People in need of help should be directed to their church leaders who love and care for them, and if those leaders aren’t able to show that love for them we need to find the leaders that will. The Savior taught with an unending love for all of mankind, sinners and saints alike. If BYU really is his university the people who watch over the students need to go forth with that same love.

I love so many things about BYU, but reading these stories just makes my heart ache and my stomach turn. I hope things get better at the honor code office, I hope they change into an institution that people praise for love and understanding. That’s not up to me though. I’m just one student that believes things can and should be better. Later

Image sourced from BYU, I claim no ownership over it.

Provo’s Most Eligible Ep. 3: Charmless and Inconsistent

Provo’s newest viral hit moves into it’s third episode and… it’s not good.

One rebranding later, and Utah valley’s most awkward show is ready to get back to business. On the surface this should have been the most exciting episode yet, one contestant abandoned the show without notice, the show’s first kiss, and even zombies! In reality though I think this is easily the worst episode yet released.

The huge charm of reality shows is the reality part. We all know that most of what’s on these shows aren’t real, but in the moment of it all, it feels real. Provo’s Most Eligible doesn’t feel real in any way, shape, or form. Every moment feels wholely manufactured, and a huge part of this is the way they’ve edited this episode. The initial group date initially tries to convince us that the contestants are legitimately scared of the antics of their zombie-themed escape room, it’s over the top but on its own it’s fine. It’s believable that some people could be easily startled, but when you show them freaking flossing in the very next shot it makes it impossible to suspend one’s disbelief. All I was able to focus on was how fake everything felt. Soap operas are more believable than this BS.

I get why the show is doing this though. People initially responded to all the cringy/relatable things contestants did and they focused on showing as much of that as possible. By focusing so much of their time trying to find all the cringy moments though we’ve been left with little to no time to actually connect with contestants or learn about them. Seriously every time I write about this show I have to go look up what these peoples names are. It’s embarassing to still have to do that after 3 episodes.

Combine this bad editing/direction ruining immersion with the horrifically blatant and shameless shilling for sponsors. Seriously, in the escape room date it begins with them walking in and then the camera pans up to show the name of the place and it holds that shot way too long. Then we actually get a speech from an employee of the escape room basically telling us why their escape room is so great. It’s just an ad, it had nothing to do with the show. This is repeated for the solo date when they go slack-lining and then out to dinner to Zaos Asian Cafe, all three of these activities have extended shots on signage or logos of the apparent sponsors. You want to know a better and more organic way to include a sponsor plug, have your host welcome the contestants to the place of business, have the contestants give meaningful reviews of their time there. I hope none of these people making the show are interested in marketing or advertising, because they suck at it.

The pinnacle of these terrible decisions by the creators has to be the fact that they had a contestant suddenly stop coming to the events and no joke there isn’t any closure on that. They have Colin talk about how disappointed and worried he is for 2 minutes and then they just never come back to it. Any reality show worth its salt would dump 15-20 minutes on that, it’s an inherently dramatic moment. Is she in danger? Does she hate Colin now? Was there a family emergency? Did one of the girls threaten her? What happened to Meghan?

We should have Colin talk about how concerned he is, then cut to a couple of contestants that want to throw shade at her, a couple more that are worried about her and at least one who is totally indifferent. From there actually make use of the host as he is constantly trying to get in contact with her, Colin placing a single phone call isn’t nearly enough. People need to investigate this and we as the audience need to see them investigate! SHOW DON’T TELL! After some investigation, they decide as a group to reluctantly continue, then after the closing credits, we cut back to Colin or Remington and they tell us what happened to Meghan after the fact.

For those unaware apparently she got engaged between episodes, which is like the most Provo thing ever, but the fact that I had to have a friend tell me that is beyond stupid. Shame on you show, I shouldn’t have to go do research just to find out why a girl just up and left your show.

Let’s actually talk about the episode and what happened though, I could ramble about the terrible production decisions forever, but people want hot takes about the contestants. After the “Definitely not a rose ceremony” that barely even made an effort to change anything (If I was Warner Bros I’d still copyright strike that ish) were left with Wholesome Kate, Old Maid McKenna, Kissless Elena, Diversity Hire Annalee, and Saliva-Swapping Annali. I’m pretty sure those names give a clear indication who I like and who I couldn’t care less about. If I had to guess I would say that Annali and McKenna are the two front-runners to win Colin’s heart. I’m still rooting for Kate though, even though she’s too kind-hearted for reality TV. Annalee reeks of “influencer” culture which part of me simply despises, and I’m still unconvinced that Elena isn’t entirely carried by her accent.

I’m being pretty mean right now, but hot takes are gonna get a little mean and the show gives me so little to actually like anymore I’m stuck just being a hater. What can you do? I committed myself to write about this show so I have to keep watching, but I acknowledge that I’m doing it pretty reluctantly now. I’ll do my best to keep an open mind and if the show gets its crap together I’ll get back on the hype train. Later

Provos Most Eligable?

Well, life got busy for me for a little while there and that pushed back my write-up for the second episode of the surprise online hit “The Bachelor of Provo” so far that the show isn’t even called The Bachelor of Provo anymore.

For those unaware (I can’t fathom how you wouldn’t know about the renaming but still want to read this blog post) shortly after the second episode of The Bachelor of Provo a few news outlets had started picking up on the buzz around the show and once they started publishing interviews with the creators and articles about the show surprise, surprise the big bad guys of Warner Bros came down with copyright allegations and they came down hard. So hard that they forced the show to rename itself and drop the rose ceremony from the show entirely, alongside some other less monumental changes.

I won’t lie, part of me wants to get into the nitty-gritty of exactly why the show got copyright striked and how totally in the right Warner Bros was to do it (legally at least) but that’s probably a whole other write-up on its own. So let’s just stay focused on my thoughts and feelings of episode two of Provo’s Most Eligible?

Right at the start, we have another skit about Provo dating and just… no. We’re all painfully aware of what this show is about and if we’re sitting down to watch episode two we don’t need to be reminded or sold on it again. We want to watch cringy Provo people be hilariously awkward around each other so we can all feel better about the awkward, cringy stuff we do in our day to day lives. No skits required.

Moving past that though we get the intro sequence and then cut directly to… Colin walking onto a stage and doing some of the most amazing, and definitely awkward white guy dancing ever caught on camera. I’m a really bad dancer, but that was just rough to watch.

After (AFTER) Colin’s routine? It’s explained to us that the group date portion of the show will be a talent show! Oh cool right? Wrong. Rather then having a diverse set of acts to showcase the uniqueness of each contestant we get just an enormous hot mess. Props to Annalee though for at least trying to be unique with tap-rapping. Would’ve been like way cooler if you did both at the same time, but separate is fine too I suppose.

I know I said I wouldn’t mention copyright stuff, but can we not all acknowledge the hilarity of this show consistently using that garbage copyright free music only to get struck down with copyright strikes anyway? Just hilarious.

Anyways, after the talent show we’re treated to our first solo date with Colin and Megan! Megan is the one… ahhh…. hold on. *Googles furiously* Megan the surgical technology major! I’m sure she has other definining personality traits but good lord can we not tell from the show, at least we get this scene with the blanket depicted below and it’s gotta be the most provo thing I’ve ever seen on a screen. Just spectacular for all the wrong reasons.

Cred @Provosmosteligable

From there were back to them all hanging out and trying to chat with Colin and we finally get some juicy drama. It starts with Abby taking Colin aside and basically asking him why he’s even bothering with these other girls because their connection is so strong.

Big plays for big ballers ya know?

The drama continues to flow as it’s revealed (By Abby I think, pot stirrer much?) that Lucy, in between filming episode one and two got a boyfriend. Seriously people, if you’ve never been to Provo this is actually the kind of stuff that happens on a regular basis. Colin and Lucy handle it like mature adults though and Lucy departs the show that night. Whatever shall we do without another blonde, average height, person from… was it Hawaii? Yeah, Hawaii. That’s the one. Jeez Colin has a type and it’s showing.

There’s a couple more things that happen like Kate showing Colin more magic, and even though it’s totally obvious that the show is super fake bordering on scripted the two of them have a fun energy together. Like two dweebs just dorking out together.

Oh yeah, there’s also this tiny little thing of Annali trying to snag a SMOOCH from Colin. Dang, I’m upset that I’ve already used the bold strategy meme in this write-up because that was a extra big play for a truly enormous baller. Props to going for it Annali, and extra props for asking for consent first, it’s 2019 people, consent isn’t hard. Simple verbal confirmations are easy enough right? I mean he shot her down so that’s unfortunate for Annali, but I’ve still gotta give her points for trying right?

After the smooch rejection tragedy (or a blessing depending on your POV) we get to the rose ceremony (last one apparently!) and honest to goodness who even cares at this point. Both Annalee and Annali move onto the next round which means there is still hope in my heart that they’ll have a duel to the death to absorb each other’s powers highlander style. The adorkable Kate got a rose and so did everyone’s favourite girl with an accent Elena, everyone else doesn’t matter anymore as far as I’m concerned.

New episode of Provo’s Most Eligable comes out this weekend and now that I’ve got a somewhat normal schedule I should be able to get the write-up on it out in a more timely manner. So like a week, week and a half from now I guess? Till then, Later!


Important Q’s About The Bachelor of Provo

So the universe hates me and I wasn’t given a new episode of The Bachelor of Provo to dissect, but I’m determined to keep doing write-ups on this show every Monday. So in lieu of having a new episode to talk about, I’m just gonna ask some questions that I think could have a pretty big impact on the outcome of the show. I’m aware that I’m probably taking a reality show based in Provo too seriously, but what else am I going to do with my time? Something healthy and productive? LAME

Just to prove how way too seriously I’m taking this show here’s a fun fact. The average age of the remaining contestants is 19.3. Am I out of control? Whose to say? (I am)

When we’re introduced to Collin he states that he’s never been in a real relationship, first and second dates only. Combine that with the fact that he’s young and fresh off of his mission this leads me to ask, “Has Collin had his first kiss yet?” It’s entirely possible that he hasn’t right? If he hasn’t that can totally change the game, it would give a huge advantage to whatever girl can grab a smooch from him first. It would also pose a real risk because if a girl tried to force that moment (ya know that’s gonna happen) it would probably spell the end of their run on the show. A huge opportunity just sitting there if someone can navigate it properly.

I’ve also come to believe that another enormous opportunity is waiting for these girls. Collin is a recently returned missionary who hasn’t adjusted back to ordinary life yet, whoever can genuinely make a spiritual connection with him is going to have an HUGE leg up. Despite the use of all caps, the real keyword of that sentence is genuinely. Can they do it though? Can they connect with Collin over the gospel? Much like the kissing thing if someone tries to force a spiritual moment to happen it’s going to blow up in their face worse than that time Dwight used an insecticide grenade. I obviously can’t be certain of this, but I’m guessing that none of the girls on this show are return missionaries themselves. Pretty much because if any of them were then they would’ve brought it up when Collin talked about his mission. (which they all pretty much asked about) Shame, that could’ve been a huge boon for someone. Perhaps it’ll be like this show’s version of a twist, “Gotcha, turns out I served a mission and it was also in Argentina Collin!” *Audience collectively gasps*

Another big advantage these girls could give themselves is to stop chewing freaking gum while on camera. Who thought that was a good idea? Whoever it was fire their sorry butt it’s awful. Hopefully, they fix that in episode 2, but we’ll only know on the 25th when it airs. Until then I’ll just stare at my wall or something. Later!

Photo credit to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, check it out!


The Bachelor… of Provo

There’s a new show in town that I just have to talk about. The Bachelor of Provo. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is, take the classic (not sure about the use of the word classic there) format of the hit reality show The Bachelor, transplant it into the Provo dating scene and wait for the magic to unfold. I’m officially obsessed.

Some of you might be thinking that I’m going to be railing against the show, making fun of it and using it to showcase what I think is wrong with dating in Provo.

Wrong.

I’m getting on board with this thing. I’m embracing it. I will be beginning a weekly series recapping and giving my thoughts on each episode as they come out starting today with the premiere episode. Not much of what I say from here on out will make sense if you haven’t watched it, so check the link here for all the glory! (Be aware it’s a 40-minute episode so make sure you have the time to watch the whole thing.)

Before I really get into it I do have to level one major criticism at the show. The lighting is just awful. If you’re thinking of starting a show and using the regular incandescent bulbs in your house/apartment do everyone a favor and throw your camera in the garbage. Or buy a proper lighting setup, you can get decent ones at amazon for like 50-60 bucks, and trust me they make a huge differance.

Ok, with that out of the way we can get into the meat of this thing. The show starts with what I can only call a skit showcasing the woes of being a dude trying to date in Provo. Sure some people will label it cringy, but honestly, if you need something to set up the premise of your show this works just as well as anything else would.

At the end of the skit we’re introduced to our beloved host, Remington, and we get a real good look at just how bad the lighting situation is. Sorry, but its just bad. Remington gives us and the Bachelor, Colin, a pep talk and we roll the intro sequence. Not gonna lie, I think the intro is really good, the lighting is much improved, the camera movement is nice, but I have a feeling it is because it’s mimicking the original show. (Can’t say for sure I’ve never watched the real thing.)

So let’s talk about our Bachelor. I think one of the really smart things about this show is actually the choice of Colin as the Bachelor. He strikes me very much as an everyman kind of person. He embodies the idea of the average guy in Provo, and I mean that in a nice way. The fact that when he’s talking about what he looks for in a girl he says, “…someone I can have a good discussion with…” really lets you in on how fresh off of a mission he is though. It’s a classic missionary word. Otherwise, he seems like a decent, nice, normal guy. You know except for the fact he’s on this show, that’s definitely not normal.

Now it’s time for the girls since we started with like 22 girls I’m gonna have to go really fast through them. Also, to these women who happen upon this, please note you signed up to be on a show where 22 of you try all simultaneously date one guy from Utah. It’s watered down polygamy and I’m gonna make jokes about it. Buckle up. It’s nothing personal. Except it is, sorry.

McKenna: Basic Provo girl.

Aubrey: Whenever I hear someone say, “I’m super sarcastic” I’m just a little doubtful of them. Maybe that’s just me being elitist about how sarcastic I am, but those who know me know I earn that title of sarcastic every bloody day.

Julianne: Bringing snacks is a bold move, and I respect that.

Lucy: Basic Provo girl. (Even if she’s from Hawaii)

Maddy: Oh yikes, going down the whole, “I knew him growing up” is just a bad idea. Lucky for her he does remember her, but still a bad call if you ask me.

Annalee: She leads off by saying she’s looking for a family man, and I just feel like if you’re trying to date a 20-year-old that’s a good way to terrify him.

Megan: She says she’s not your typical Provo girl, which means she’s your typical Provo girl.

Bailey: This is just mean of me, but she bobs her head everywhere while she talks, just stop please.

Kate: This girl says nothing about herself, so I’m going to assume she’s in the Illuminati.

Abby: Basic Provo girl.

Molly: She’s got a real quiet demeanor about her, which makes me wonder why she signed up for the show.

Hannah: Basic Provo girl.

Keli: Hey she’s got a real in with the whole sharing a class together thing. Curious to see how far she can push that.

Rachel: I really like her glasses, but her wants from a relationship seem contrary to the idea of being on this show.

Sarah: Basic Provo girl. Her force of attraction joke is also corny as it gets.

Maddy G: Yikes. Any girl that refers to herself (even in a joking manner) as a dime is probably too into her own looks for it to be healthy.

Annali: Bringing her own roses? Not so sure about that one… Also another self-made joke about how good looking they are, doesn’t bode well.

Eva: What is that dancing? That’s some ish my girlfriend does. Which obviously means Eva’s cool… (You’re beautiful Lindsay!) Although the dancing goes on like 10 seconds too long.

Shannon: Basic Provo girl. Also her math jokes falls so flat it hurt my soul. Practice your routine girl.

Sabrina: She likes to write which means I’m biased towards her, but otherwise she seems like a basic Provo girl.

Elena: Accent is like a get out of jail free card for the first round of this thing isn’t it?

Kaitlyn: Guitar? Get out of here. Like really. Are you gonna play Wonderwall next?

So there are the girls, I could talk a bit about the 30 second dates they all go on but this thing is long enough and they all ask the same questions which was super boring so onto the rose ceremony!

Hannah, did I say you were basic? My apologies, that shade you were throwing after getting eliminated was straight fire! This is the kind of thing I desperately wanted in this show. Real talk though, dropping that level of salt and then saying, “not mad” is equivalent of two dudes making out with each other and then saying, “no homo”. Also only doing two exit interviews is kind of lame, I wanted drama!

I guess I should make some predictions at this point. Elena will be the one most hated by the other girls because they got nothing but envy for that accent. Annali will be the villain, she’s just got that vibe around her and she got that mad beef with Elena over the impression rose. I knew I came down hard on Maddy and the whole “I knew him growing up thing.” but I can’t lie that it gives her such a huge edge early on and I think she’ll ride that lead out to a win on The Bachelor of Provo.

I think that’s all I can say about this show, for now, I’m excited to keep watching it and hopefully, you all are excited to read what I have to say about it each week. I promise next week will be more brief, with intros and everything there’s just so much to go through. Later!

The photo used is not mine, it belongs to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, give them a follow or something.



Last Seminar

These are my final thoughts about the dating seminar I attended some two or so weeks ago. Frankly I don’t want to touch this topic again for a very long time.

I just don’t know what to say about this dating seminar anymore. I’ve been racking my brain for weeks now trying to figure out how to continue to write about it but absolutely nothing feels right once I put it down on paper or try to type it out. 

I just don’t know what to say about this dating seminar anymore. I’ve been racking my brain for weeks now trying to figure out how to continue to write about it but absolutely nothing feels right once I put it down on paper or try to type it out.

So here’s what I’ll say. I think 90+% of what I saw and heard in that seminar is just incorrect. I think this seminar was given by people who believe themselves to be experts in the field when in reality they’re far from it. Do you want to know what critical piece I think they’re missing from their seminar? It’s a woman’s touch. This was by far my biggest takeaway from the seminar, it was embarrassingly obvious that no woman had ever been consulted whilst this seminar was being created, in fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if no woman had ever seen or heard any part of this seminar, even though it’s specifically designed to help men be more appealing to women.

How could I possibly guess at that? Well, I took what I heard at this seminar and presented it to women and asked what they thought. They all pointed out that they thought the information was bad and at times creepy. Now, this was a pretty small sample size so the information could have a pretty wide margin of error, but when it comes to what women want, I’d take the word of a few women over the word of someone who took dating advice from pick-up artists on YouTube.

I’m no expert in dating, but here’s my advice and I guarantee it’ll help you out. Make sure you’re happy with the person you are. Take a look in the mirror and really ask yourself how much you like that person. If you don’t ask yourself why and work on it. If you’re unhappy single the odds of you having a happy and fulfilling relationship are slim to none. The harsh truth is that most people at dating seminars don’t need dating seminars, they need self-help seminars.

If you’re happy and still unsure how to go about dating, ask your female friends. If you don’t have female friends to ask, sit down and really think about why that is, make some adjustments about how you behave around women and then go out and make some, and then ask them what they think is important in dating.

Don’t change who you are as a person though, its super cliche to say that the most important thing to be a successful dater is being yourself but it’s true. If you try to be someone you’re not, you might find yourself in a relationship, but the longer you keep up that charade the more miserable you’ll become, besides if you’re happy with who you are there really isn’t a need to change, you just have to keep looking (not hunting) until you happen upon that right person. It might result in a long wait for that special someone, but it’s worth it. Take it from me. Later.

So here’s what I’ll say. I think 90+% of what I saw and heard in that seminar is just incorrect. I think this seminar was given by people who believe themselves to be experts in the field when in reality they’re far from it. Do you want to know what critical piece I think they’re missing from their seminar? It’s a woman’s touch. This was by far my biggest takeaway from the seminar, it was embarrassingly obvious that no woman had ever been consulted whilst this seminar was being created, in fact it wouldn’t surprise me if no woman had ever seen or heard any part of this seminar, even though it’s specifically designed to help men be more appealing to women. 

How could I possibly guess at that? Well I took what I heard at this seminar and presented it to women and asked what they thought. They all pointed out that they thought the information was bad and at times creepy. Now this was a pretty small sample size so the information could have a pretty wide margin of error, but when it comes to what women want, I’d take the word of a few women over the word of someone who took dating advice from pick-up artists on YouTube. 

I’m no expert in dating, but here’s my advice and I guarantee it’ll help you out. Make sure you’re happy with the person you are. Take a look in the mirror and really ask yourself how much you like that person. If you don’t ask yourself why and work on it. If you’re unhappy single the odds of you having a happy and fulfilling relationship are slim to none. The harsh truth is that most people at dating seminars don’t need dating seminars, they need self-help seminars. 

If you’re happy and still unsure how to go about dating, ask your female friends. If you don’t have female friends to ask, sit down and really think about why that is, make some adjustments about how you behave around women and then go out and make some, and then ask them what they think is important in dating. 

Don’t change who you are as a person though, its super cliche to say that the most important thing to be a successful dater is being yourself but it’s true. If you try to be someone you’re not, you might find yourself in a relationship, but the longer you keep up that charade the more miserable you’ll become, besides if you’re happy with who you are there really isn’t a need to change, you just have to keep looking (not hunting) until you happen upon that right person. It might result in a long wait for that special someone, but it’s worth it. Take it from me. Later. 

Charming Girls and Twisting Words

Ok so yesterday I worked through what I thought was some of the most dangerous thinking presented at this dating seminar I went to earlier in the week. Today I want to be less depressing and focus on some of the more silly things said. Let’s have some fun shall we? Also I think I mentioned this yesterday, but I don’t mean to rag on anyone in particular here, any issues I have are more with the general dating culture here than with any partiuclar individual, so relax. 

I’ll start today off with another quote,

“Women want a prince (or a high-quality man) to charm them until they simply can’t resist him any longer”

Yup, you nailed it, buddy. I mean what women doesn’t want someone who relentlessly pursues them until they simply submit themselves and go out with you. Sounds like true love to me. Maybe I’m not being fair to them right now and twisting their words, but come on! You really don’t have twist things very far to get to where I’m at! Like who uses word like “can’t resist” when they’re talking about dating and doesn’t expect people to give them this look.

If you’re dating life has enough opposition that the word “resist” is the first thing popping into your head than chances are your strategy needs a little refinement.

Now I can already hear my father typing up a comment for this, “Your mother ran away from me the first time I talked to her, I would call that resistance and it all worked out didn’t it?” Yeah, dad, it did, and I’m really grateful for that because otherwise I wouldn’t be here to make fun of you, but I think we can both agree that your situation is more of an exception to the rule than an example that proves it. Generally speaking, if a girl physically runs away from you that’s a sign to pack it in and take the L, make sure you hold on tight to it because you need to learn from this particular L. (Hats off to you dad for being oblivious enough to ignore that though so that I could exist! WHOOOO)

By the way I’m totally comfortable telling that story because I’ve heard my dad tell me it I don’t know… 7 billion times and somehow each time he tells it he owns it even harder than the last time. He’s actually totally unashamed about the whole thing. Honestly it’s one of the things I really like about him.

Back to the seminar though…

Let’s move onto specific terminology used. Hey, if I use the term “Social Proof” what springs into your head? Is it like a piece of paper you have that proves you know how to socialize with people in a non-serial killer way? Or maybe like a mathematical proof that demonstrates why nice guys finish last? Or perhaps its a reference to a term used in a sociological study looking into dating practices? Nope all wrong. Social proof is basically when you have cool friends so girls know you’re a cool person. I’m not a woman so I might be wrong about this, but I’m not currently aware of anyone who entered into a relationship with someone because they had cool friends. Sure I know people who set their friends up with people, but they don’t go on that date and have the girl say, “you’re friends with Billy so I know I should be attracted to you.” Like just… yeesh.

“Princes are able to elevate a princess to the station of a queen.”

Another lovely quote ain’t it? I’m sorry if I caught you off guard with the poetic beauty of it. It’s just such a well-crafted sentence it really des… I can’t keep playing this thing straight. Good lord this thing sounds like they took comments from r/niceguys and just plastered them on their PowerPoint (of course there was a PowerPoint! They’re professionals.) Like the sentiment is actually fine, if you’re a good person then you should be able to make your partners life better, but do we have to phrase it like that? Ladies just imagine for a moment a guy that you’ve been on a couple of dates with, they’ve gone ok but you’re not sure how you feel about him yet, then he drops this line, ” You are a princess, but I want to make you a queen.” If you got any sense it’s just like

There’s more to go through here, but I’m lazy and I’m kinda hoping to stretch this thing out until Christmas break so we’ll go over more of it another time. Later!

Station 22

So I have this roommate. B A N A N A S right? Anyways he recently invited me and another roommate out to eat at a restaurant here in Provo called Station 22. Because I’m me and can’t keep my mouth shut for longer than 4 or 5 minutes at a time I have thoughts.

Let’s begin with some of the good things about it. The atmosphere was really nice.  It’s a nice pretty little restaurant that feels fancy, but not in an overbearing way. Somewhere you could bring a date to impress her while not making her think you were gonna pull a crazy Provo move and propose on the first date.  It’s comfortable while still feeling upscaled. At least from the perspective of me, a student it feels that way. For those with more disposable income/ any disposable income, a place like Station 22 might not feel very upscale but more run of the mill, even so, I feel confident saying that Station 22 has a good atmosphere about it. It’s quaint, Station 22 feels like a much older restaurant than it actually is and that’s a good thing.

IMG-1375
Colour coordinated book placements? That’s an OCD owner for sure.

Moving beyond the looks of the restaurant though the much more interesting question has to be about the quality of food and service there. There’s little to say about the service, the staff were friendly and good at their jobs. With food, there is obviously going to be more to say. At my visit, I had their whiskey chicken with mashed potatoes and fries because I’m still a fatty Mcfatfat that will each french fries literally anytime they’re offered to me. I would describe the dish in more detail, but I think it’d be easier to just show you a picture.

0.jpg
It’s still Utah so of course, there was fry sauce served with the fries. 

It looks just about as good as it tasted, the chickens breading was crunchy without being overwhelming and hiding the nice tender chicken underneath, the whiskey sauce was just delightfully tasty, although being totally honest I wasn’t quite feeling the mushrooms. It was almost like they had marinated in the sauce for too long so they gave such a potent flavor it made it difficult to taste much of anything else on the plate. Mashed potatoes and gravy were really good, but that’s a dish I personally always find enjoyable so take that with a grain of salt.  Carrots on their own were a little boring but I believe they were meant to also be paired with the whiskey sauce and with that it was quite a treat. Lastly, of course, are the fries which were frankly disappointing. As you may know, I consider myself a bit of a fry expert and well… these fries were simply too soft. A good french fry needs a nice crispy quality to it and these just didn’t have it. Overall this meal was satisfying and enjoyable but not without its flaws.

This leaves me at the end, to now say if I would recommend people visit this establishment. It’s a nice charming place along Provo’s center street, the food is pretty good and it has friendly staff so why not recommend it? Simple, Station 22 is too expensive for the quality of the meal you get. My whiskey chicken and fries ran me up some fourteen dollars and I’m more than confidant in saying that I didn’t get my money’s worth. Station 22 is a good restaurant that simply costs a touch too much to really be in the sweet spot of somewhere I’d like to frequent. 6.5/10. Later.

 

The Best Burger in Provo: CHOM

Hey just cause I went out to Canada last weekend doesn’t mean I forgot about my true quest in life, to find the best burger in a small city in the middle of Utah. Ahh a truly grand destiny.

CHOM is a restaurant located just a few blocks north of Provo’s city center temple and features a potato bun in place of a normal one. Don’t ask me what the difference is because I don’t really know. It’s not the taste though. I ordered a BBQ bacon burger because it has three of my favorite words in it’s name.

First the good stuff about the burger, which is actually quite a bit. The best part of this burger was undoubtedly the BBQ sauce. It was just everything you could’ve wanted out of a BBQ sauce on a burger without overwhelming any other flavors. I also really enjoyed the use of fry sauce on this burger, even though at first I was skeptical about it since historically fry sauce has not panned out well on burgers in my mind. Like I mentioned earlier the potato bun the burger was on wasn’t really any different to me than an ordinary bun so it ended up feeling more like a gimmick than a feature in my mind. It’s not a major issue though.

Rather the major issue with the BBQ bacon burger was arguably the most important part of the burger, the actual patty. To say the least about this patty would be that it was disappointing. To elaborate further, the patty from CHOM tasted like the cheap frozen burgers you buy at the supermarket in packs of twenty or forty. It’s flavor was bland, the texture leaving many things to be desired and ultimately the patty as a whole was not enjoyable. This felt particularity bad to me since the rest of the burger was pretty spot on. It’s like everything was going so well and then just this one thing went so wrong that it derailed the whole operation. Just kinda sad really.

So to CHOM may I make a recommendation, change your beef supplier. I’m sure they’re lovely people and a pleasure to work with, but what they’re selling you isn’t up to snuff and I think that if you just make that little adjustment that makes me sad to one that makes me really really happy.

Just my thoughts though. I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings and I hope you’re having a great day, peace out and make good choices everyone!

Current burger power ranking:

  1. Tommy’s Burgers Double Cheeseburger w/ Chili.
  2. Cubby’s Gypsy Burger
  3. Burger Supreme’s Golden Burger
  4. Five Guys Double Bacon Burger
  5. Classic Smash from Smashburger
  6. Double-Double from In-N-Out
  7. Pastrami Burger from JCW’s
  8. California Classic from Carl’s Junior
  9. BBQ Bacon Burger from CHOM

 

Best Burger in Provo: Part 8

So originally I had planned on talking about McDonald’s for this post, but… uh…. I had an absolutely amazing burger just yesterday that I feel compelled to talk about.

That burger came from Tommy’s Burgers at 401 W and 100 N. In Provo. Obviously.

What I had was a double cheeseburger done “Texas” style including bacon, pickles, tomato and mayo. Oh also it was a chili burger, so there was chili on top. Ya know what, I actually took a decent picture of this so I’ll just let you look at it’s majesty.

IMG_1807.JPG

Would ya just look at that? Simple, beautiful, perfection. Presented pretty much exactly the way I would want a burger presented to me. “Here’s a thing of fries, I wrapped your burger up, go nuts my dude.”

If you can’t tell yet, I REALLY liked this burger. It sounds silly to say now, but the first bite I took of this thing I could already tell that I was dealing with another level of burger. Like I just knew this wasn’t gonna be a regular burger for me and it really wasn’t.

Before I gush more about how delicious this thing was, I do want to note something I thought was interesting. The pickles and tomato slice? Ya see how they’re below the patty on this? I don’t see that with the majority of burgers I eat, and I gotta say I think it’s a better way to do things. Why are we putting the condiments on top? Is it just because that’s the way we’ve always done things? I know that anytime I make burgers in the future I’ll be throwing them down below.

Back to gushing. How did I not know that chili was exactly what I wanted on a burger until just now? It totally makes sense, it gets extra tomato flavor in there so you can forgo ketchup, allows one to enjoy the onion flavor without having to really deal with the dumb things, and oh yeah makes a burger wicked messy, something that I appreciate quite a bit. The beef was also really good, as well as the bacon, which wasn’t crunchy but also not soft enough that the whole strip came out when you took a bite of it. Finally the single slice of cheese is a really nice touch. I heard on Binging with Babish’s video on the Krabby Patty (check this guy out his channel is awesome.) about how a single slice of cheese is the way to go on a burger and I have to agree. It gives you the cheesy texture and taste without taking away from the rest of the burger. Smart stuff.

Here I’d normally say something to tone back my praise and let you know that the burger wasn’t perfect. I don’t really have anything though. Part of me is tempted to just call it here and name Tommy’s Burgers the best burger in Provo. That wouldn’t be very fair through since I only learned about this place yesterday and there are probably a bunch of joints like this that I just haven’t heard about yet. For now though I can certainly say that this double-chili-cheeseburger is a tier above everything else I’ve had and will be a front runner until further notice. I gotta find more places like this. Have a great day folks, peace out and make some good choices!

PS. If you find yourself in Provo and want to check this place out, yes it’s that tiny shack on the corner with barely enough room for a grill in it.

Current power rankings of burgers:

  1. Tommy’s Burgers Double Cheeseburger w/ Chili.
  2. Cubby’s Gypsy Burger
  3. Burger Supreme’s Golden Burger
  4. Five Guys Double Bacon Burger
  5. Classic Smash from Smashburger
  6. Double-Double from In-N-Out
  7. Pastrami Burger from JCW’s
  8. California Classic from Carl’s Junior